Thursday, April 26, 2012

Games to play with minnniiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss!!!!!!!

I received 15 more Topps Lineage 1975 minis from reader Chris for my quest to collect all 200 cards in the set.

I'm now down to needing 39 more to complete the set. In a couple of weeks, I'm going to see how much I can knock off. I'd really like to get this done before the arrival of what could be my next collecting goal -- 2012 Allen & Ginter. I hadn't planned to collect A&G this year, but then Topps had to throw in cards of Erin Andrews and Kate Upton. It found my weakness.

The problem with being down to the final 39 is I'm running out of things to say about these wonderful tributes to the 1975 minis.

So, I thought I'd play a game with them.

And that game is: If These Were Not Ballplayers But Just Regular Guys And They Were Walking Down The Street Toward You Which One Would Make You Cross To The Other Side?

Come on, don't look at me like that. We've all played ITWNBBJRGATWWDTSTYWOWMYCTTOS before! It's sweeping the nation!

OK, there's no time to discuss the merits of this. The first group is walking toward you RIGHT NOW:

Vladimir Guerrrero. Stan Musial. Chris Sale.

Well, Vlad already has a scary nickname about Impaling, so that alone would make me want to cross the street. Plus Guerrero always has this friendly, detached vibe that could be interpreted as slightly demented.

So, yeah, I'm crossing the street if Guerrero is approaching.

Second group:

Andruw Jones. Zach Britton. Nolan Ryan.

Well, Ryan is practically Dad, so he's no threat. Unless you charge at him. I know nothing about Britton. Looks like a fine kid. That leaves Jones. Even if he was never a ballplayer, I think he'd still be hanging out at the Gold Club, and people like that just can't be trusted.

Sorry, Andruw. I just found something I liked better ... over there.

Third group:

Babe Ruth. Matt Holliday. Dustin Pedroia.

There's no way I'm crossing the street if the Babe is coming at me. Even if he wasn't a ballplayer, he'd have babes and hot dogs draped all over him. Who doesn't want to be a part of that? Dustin Pedroia might make me want to cross the street, because he seems like he'd be annoying as a regular guy.

But the top candidate is Matt Holliday. I've said before that I get this "meathead" feeling from him. He just looks like he wants to bust heads. I have no idea if that is his real modus operandi, but for the purposes of this game, I'd rather not get beaten up. So I'm finding the nearest crosswalk.

Fourth group:

Roy Campanella. Trevor Cahill. Buster Posey.

Tough one. Campy seems too friendly. Cahill seems innocent enough. So, by default, it's Posey.

Even as a regular guy, he'd have the stink of Giant on him. That's best avoided.

Fifth group:

Ichiro Suzuki. Jackie Robinson. Justin Verlander.

Ichiro and Verlander just don't seem threatening, especially after I've seen some dude sling Verlander over his shoulder on a commercial over and over.

That leaves Jackie.

Now, remember, Jackie isn't the Jackie of legendary pioneering greatness. He's just a regular guy. Strip him of his baseball sainthood and what's left?

Well, if you've seen a lot of pictures of Jackie, you've probably seen him scowling a whole bunch. Lots of scowls. I don't blame him. If I had to live his life, I'd be scowling a lot, too. Heck, I scowl a lot in my own life and it's not a fraction as bad.

But scowling guys make me want to cross the street.

Sorry, Jackie.

So, there you are. Another game of "Cross To The Other Side" is done.

Didn't that make you feel uncomfortable and judgmental? It did me.

Somebody better get me the rest of these minis quick. Things are turning ugly.


  1. I'm going to go there - Campy probably wouldn't be "walking" down the street, unless you mean earlier in his career/life.

  2. I say this as a Cubs fan who can at least respect who Stan the Man was as a ballplayer but that photo is horrible. Give him a pipe and he's a cross between hunchbacked Quasimodo & Popeye.