Hanging out with 2012 Topps

This will probably be my last 2012 Topps analysis post. I'm running out of things to say about the cards, and I know how quickly people get bored these days. The cards have been out for -- what, four days? -- I could have tweeted about 7,000 different subjects in that amount of time.

But I've already purchased the hanger box, so I've got to show you what was in that. It's my obligation.

The key thing about hanger boxes is that you buy one. Only one. If you buy more, you're going to enter collation hell. Collation can be an issue no matter what packaging you prefer, but for some reason it seems much more condensed and apparent in hanger boxes. I almost live in fear of when the series of horizontal cards pops up because I know I'm going to get duped in the head.

Fortunately, I kept it to one box and I avoided doubles. Except one. One that you wouldn't expect.

But you'll have to wait on that. We must go in order. This here is exactly how I pulled the cards while just hanging out in the recliner watching some Netflix-provided '80s comedy. Good times.

Cards:

#1 - Ryan Braun, Brewers

If Topps would use Matt Kemp for -- I don't know -- SOMETHING -- maybe it wouldn't have to deal with the uncomfortable PR problems it gets into when Braun/Clemens/A-Rod/Bonds end up on the front of their wrappers and card No. 1 in their sets.

#161 - Dee Gordon, Dodgers

One of two Gordon cards in Series 1. Nice card, but not as nice as Gordon's 2011 Update card. And, no, I don't care that Chipper is in the photo.

#93 - Skip Schumaker, Cardinals (stop thinking about the stupid squirrel)
#197 - Brendan Ryan, Mariners
#20 - Craig Kimbrel, Braves
#12 - Wilson Ramos, Nationals

#269 - Jason Vargas, Mariners

Great old-school uni, although I don't know why Seattle would want to remember those days.

#56 - Geovany Soto, Cubs

#143 - George Kottaras, Brewers

I should know who the Dodger is in this photo, but I don't. My tattoo identification system is on the fritz.

#104 - Brett Anderson, A's

#324 - Active A.L. RBI Leaders (Rodriguez, Thome, Giambi)

I'm not thrilled with these as I already am bored by the league leader layout and Topps goes and adds more cards that look just like the cards that bore me.

But I'm also confused. Thome is shown as an Indian and listed as an Indian on the back. But he also has played for A.L. teams in the White Sox and Twins. Are his RBI totals with those teams included in the list? The blurb at the bottom says "stats of active MLB Players while playing in the American League" so I think they are included. So why list him only with Cleveland? Why does Topps do nonsensical things?

#136 - Casey McGehee, Brewers

This appears to be everyone's favorite, along with the Reed Johnson seagulls card. But this card is only my favorite if punk-ass Gerardo Parra is OUT.

#130 - Asdrubal Cabrera, Indians
#239 - 2011 A.L. Batting Average Leaders (M. Cabrera, M. Young, A. Gonzalez)
#159 - Active N.L. RBI Leaders (Chipper Jones, Pujols, Helton)
#200 - Miguel Cabrera, Tigers
#246 - Bud Norris, Astros
#85 - Jason Heyward, Braves

#144 - Marlon Byrd, Cubs

#163 - Justin Turner, Mets

#152 - Chad Billingsley, Dodgers

I like this hanger box.

#270 - Starlin Castro, Cubs
#227 - Mike Minor, Braves
#321 - Jason Bourgeois, Astros
#96 - Grady Sizemore, Indians

#192 - Active N.L. Home Run Leaders (Chipper Jones, Pujols, Andruw Jones)

OK, I've been asked about this card on more than one occasion. How do I feel about Topps showing Andruw Jones as a Dodger on this card?

Well, I'm not ecstatic about it. But I'm not saying anything more than that, because I know that Topps just did this to get a rise out of Dodger and/or Brave fans, because why else would you do something like this? And I won't dignify this with any outrage. Good day, sir.

#108 - Albert Pujols, Game 3 of World Series

Kind of an odd photo with all the people featured here -- both on the field and in the stands -- but if there is a card of every game in last year's World Series, I'm a happy camper.

#220 - Jay Bruce, Reds

#5 - Desmond Jennings, Rays

That's a photo you don't see everyday. Pretty cool.

#225 - Michael Pineda, Mariners

#296 - Brayan Pena, Royals, Walmart blue parallel

I can't think of a better card to get the blue border treatment. And this is a Dodger fan talking.

#31 - Brent Morel, White Sox, Walmart blue parallel

Step aside, Carlos Lee. I think I pull more cards of this guy.

#13 - Vernon Wells, Angels
#155 - Matt Cain, Giants
#301 - Alexi Ogando, Rangers
#226 - Ryan Hanigan, Reds
#47 - Luke Hochevar, Royals
#126 - Eduardo Nunez, Yankees

#222 - Chris Coghlan, Marlins

I like the Marlins' new colors. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

#110 - Mark Teixeira, Yankees (fish face)
#48 - Wade Davis, Rays
#317 - Tyler Chatwood, Angels
#258 - Jon Jay, Cardinals

#39 - James Loney, Dodgers

50 doubles this year, James. Or you get sent to Seattle.

#323 - Jason Isringhausen, Mets
#212 - Active A.L. Wins Leaders (Wakefield, Sabathia, Buehrle)
#274 - Alex Liddi, Mariners (my first rookie I've never heard of -- I like this hanger box much better than yesterday's packs)
#33 - 2011 A.L. RBI Leaders (Granderson, Cano, A. Gonzalez)

#58 - Tim Hudson, Braves

Great card. I believe this is from Hudson's two-run home run on June 20 last year against the Blue Jays. He produced the only runs in a 2-0 win for the Braves. Hudson also pitched eight shutout innings.

#59 - Rangers, ALDS, Game 4

Small quibble. The ALDS is not the World Series. There is such a thing as an ALDS logo. Use it.

#263 - Steve Delabar, Mariners

#297 - 2011 N.L. Earned Run Average Leaders (Kershaw, Halladay, Lee)

Bam! My first Kershaw card of 2012. I love that he's above -- or to the left of -- Halladay and Lee.

#77 - 2011 N.L. Home Run Leaders

BAM! And Kemp is to the left of Fielder and Pujols. Life is sweet.

#85 - Jason Heyward, Braves (gold)

Uh ...

If you remember yesterday's post, I pulled the gold version of Heyward THEN, too.

See?

What are the odds of that? What are the odds of picking up two random packs and then a random hanger box and getting the exact same gold parallel?

Or maybe the Heyward gold parallel is double-printed.

That would be ugly.

#GM-47 Carlton Fisk Golden Moments

Totally cool that it's Fisk and not a Yankee or a Giant. But still these inserts suck.

#TM-32 Tommy Hanson, Braves, '87 mini

These are sort of nice because I like minis -- even though the Topps minis from 1987 did not look like this. But '87 was a year of ignoring cards for me, so I have no attachment to these at all.

#GG-34 Mickey Mantle, Golden Greats

There's the Yankee now.

#GS-9 Willie McCovey, Gold Standard

And there's the Giant.

I can't get over how poor the inserts are. It reminds me of the inserts you used to get in 2007.

#GF-16 - Mike Trout, Gold Futures

I agree with everyone who says this looks like an Upper Deck card. Which means I don't like it.

#TT-22 Aparicio-Castro, Timeless Talents

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

#GGC-3 Miguel Cabrera Golden Giveaway code card

The back says this card "will allow (me) to unlock a unique online experience."

I'm scared.

#307 - Vance Worley, Phillies

#203 - Jeff Niemann, Rays
#140 - Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies
#316 - Nick Blackburn, Twins
#18 - Colby Lewis, Rangers
#328 - John Lackey, Red Sox
#148 - Chris Getz, Royals
#327 - Mark Kotsay, Brewers
#78 - Erick Aybar, Angels
#217 - Rangers, ALCS, Game 6
#183 - Addison Reed, White Sox

Sorry, I got bored at the end there.

Thus ends the hanger box, and any other long blog posts about 2012 Topps.

From here on out if I talk about 2012 Topps, it'll probably be about some quirky little thing I've noticed, or news that I've completed the Dodger team set, or just because I've posted vintage for 18 consecutive days and I'm losing my 18-34 demographic.

But you guys continue to keep on posting 2012 Topps.

I'll be reading.

Really, I will.