You probably didn't enjoy voting today.
Oh, maybe you got to talk to your neighbor. Maybe you got a sticker or a baked good. Maybe you felt good about exercising your civic duty, your right as an American citizen. But the actual process, the selecting of the candidates at hand, that probably wasn't much fun.
I voted today. I've also taken three showers today. And a bath.
Look, I may not like our current political climate (not that I've ever been the political type), and I feel a slight amount of guilt over what's been wrought, as every sane American probably should, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun with it.
On this day where things could have been a whole lot better, I want you to be able to vote for someone that you want to vote for today. And that's why we're going to vote for Pedro starting tonight.
By my count, there have been 29 Pedros to play in the major leagues. I have cards of 17 of them. I'm going to display a card of each of those 17 Pedros and you will get to vote for one of the Pedros. You will get to vote for the Pedro that you want to vote for.
Pick any reason you'd like when casting your vote. You like the photo. You like the player. You like the card design. You like the team. You like the smile on his face or the lack of a smile on his face. I don't care what reason you choose. It's totally up to you.
The voting gadget is over on the sidebar. It will be up for a week. If there are at least 50 votes total, I will do another post dedicated to baseball-playing Pedros.
All right now, here are the Pedros stumping for your vote. I promise there are no orange faces or pant suits in the bunch:
Why you should vote for him: Remember when the Pirates were bad? I mean forever bad, like everyone-had-lost-hope-in-1999 bad and the-manager-was-some-guy-off-the-street-named-John-Russell bad. Alvarez, along with Andrew McCutchen, were the first players to give Pittsburgh hope. And isn't that what voting for someone is all about? Hope?
Why shouldn't vote for him: So much for Pittsburgh, he's an Oriole now. And he's kind of lost it. Also, his current beard is weird.
Why you should vote for him: Other than that he spent much of his career with the Dodgers, he is shown here bunting on his card in Wrigley Field. That's kind of charming.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: If you are one of those people with no life and are actively campaigning to rid the bunt from everyone's lives forever, then I can see why you might have a problem with Mr. Astacio's platform.
Why you should vote for him: This is the same Pedro Baez who is now a relief pitcher for the Dodgers. A player featured as both a hitter and a pitcher on baseball cards is awesome and worthy of the highest office in the land (of course, Topps hasn't deemed Baez worthy of a pitching card yet).
Why you shouldn't vote for him: You probably experienced in the playoffs how long it takes Baez to throw a pitch. No bills are getting passed if he's voted into office.
Why you should vote for him: "Pedro Beato" is fun to say.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: Is it my imagination or do the Mets go through 47 relief pitchers every year and then start the next year with 47 completely new relief pitchers? Beato barely lasted with the Mets, so don't expect him to hang around for long once you vote for him.
Why you should vote for him: Borbon almost never smiled on his baseball cards. This is a man that means business. Also, he's not afraid of a fight. He once tore up a Mets cap with his teeth during a brawl.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: He might be a tad controversial. The cartoon on the back about his hobby being cock fighting could cause an uproar.
Pedro Borbon Jr.
Why you should vote for him: Well, if you think Borbon Jr.'s dad is too old and grumpy, you can vote for the kid!
Why you shouldn't vote for him: White Dodger caps should never see the light of day.
Why you should vote for him: This would make an awesome "Vote for Me" poster.
Why shouldn't vote for him: We collectors were plagued by Pedro Ciriaco cards in 2010/2011 because he was going to be a STAR. Six years later he still hasn't put it all together. All those campaign promises broken.
Why you should vote for him: He helped bring Philadelphia a World Series title in 2008. Imagine what he can do for you!
Why you shouldn't vote for him: He played a bunch of years for the Giants. He was practically communist.
Why you should vote for him: There needs to be more cards with players on the basepaths. If Pedro Florimon is elected, there will be more cards of players on the basepaths.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: Apparently, this is all he can do.
Why you should vote for him: That's the happiest Pedro alive right there. Don't you want to vote for someone happy? Do you want to vote for someone in baby blue road uniforms?
Why shouldn't vote for him: A .220 lifetime batting average.
Why you should vote for him: BECAUSE HE WAS MY FAVORITE PLAYER WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, DAMMIT.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: You should vote for him. The end.
Why should vote for him: He's in the Hall of Fame and he's probably the one Pedro here who I could see running for an elected office.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: Well, if you're offended by opinions, you won't want to vote for him.
Why you should vote for him: He's an alternative to the other Pedro Martinez.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: He's an imposter! He's trying to scavenge off a Hall of Fame name! It's an outrage! A political scandal waiting to happen!
Why you should vote for him: If he cares for his bat this much, imagine how much he will care for you.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: The guy is caressing his bat.
Why you should vote for him: The oldest Pedro in my collection. He has experience! He appeared on a 1956 Topps baseball card. That alone should be enough to get him elected.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: He's 81 years old. I don't know how good he'd be at email. Or Twitter. Then again, that might be a reason to vote for him.
Why you should vote for him: The youngest Pedro in this group. He's just 23 and will be filled with all kinds of new ideas.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: Speaking personally, I'd have a difficult time voting for anyone who was born in 1993. That doesn't bode well for my voting in the presidential election in 2036. But there you go.
Why you should vote for him: He's a member of the World Champion Chicago Cubs.
Why you shouldn't vote for him: I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing about the Cubs. Imagine if they were part of an election campaign.
Those are you 17 candidates for the greatest Pedro of them all. Please report to your polling station between now and Monday, Nov. 14th at 9 p.m. If you need directions: it's over there on the sidebar.
I promise you will feel a lot better about this selection.