Monday, July 25, 2011

Gint-a-cuffs III: A one-per-case card is 5 points?

Before I get to packs 9 through 12, I need to address someone who is sabotaging my Gint-a-Cuffs points totals.

That someone is me.

I miscalculated the number of points that the Domonic Brown code card was worth, which a couple of folks were nice enough to point out. But also, way back in pack one, I neglected to count this card:

It's a short print and worth two points.

So instead of 71 points I now have 76 points (the missing 2 Valencia points and the missing 3 Brown points).

Look at me, getting all accurate as if this is going to matter!

OK, we've reached the middle row of my Gint-a-Cuffs box. Usually that's the row that produces the most hits. I've already pulled the Marlon Byrd bat relic. Let's see what disappointment ... er, excitement lies ahead.

Time to stare at packs 9-12:


120 - Adrian Gonzalez, Red Sox (+2, favorite player card)

195 - Tommy Hanson, Braves (0 points)
6 - Micky Ward, boxer & inspiration for The Fighter movie (0 points)

197 - Jay Bruce, Reds (+2 favorite player card)

251 - Ian Desmond, Nationals (0 points)
69 - Neftali Feliz, Rangers (0 points)

WMF3 - Kasper Hauser (+3 World's Most Mysterious Figures)

Perpetual liar and swindler. He sure had an active imagination, and a tendency to do harm to himself.

HH21 - Jon Lester (+1 Hometown Heroes insert)

Pack 9 total: 8 points
Total through 9 packs: 84 points


286 - Cory Luebke, Padres (0 points)
151 - Brandon Beachy, Braves (0 points)
104 - Huston Street, Rockies (0 points)

174 - Joakim Soria, Royals (+2 favorite player card)

19 - Daniel Bard, Red Sox (+3 player code card)

Hey, I didn't screw that one up!

AOM14 - Haplorrhini (+1 Ascent of Man insert)

Not something I'd want to encounter in the woods.

FFT2 - Captain Kidd's Treasure (+5, Fortunes for the Taking insert mini)

This is from one of the two unannounced mini insert series. I've heard these minis are like one per case. Seems like it should be more than 5 points. I wonder if the commissioner still likes egg sandwiches?

HH33 - Austin Jackson, Tigers (+1 Hometown Heroes insert)

Pack 10 total: 12 points
Total through 10 packs: 96 points

Proof that you can score points even when the players you pull in the pack are boring as dirt.


199 - Jake Peavy, White Sox (0 points)
144 - Jorge Posada, Yankees (-1 for being a Yankee, but it's good to see Yankees fans come around and rip him like everyone else has been doing for years already)

112 - Timothy Shieff, freerunning and parkour champion (0 points). Even after reading the back, I'm still not sure what he does.

145 - Victor Martinez, Tigers (0 points)
134 - Matt Cain, Giants (0 points)

Marlin No. 7!

313 - Leo Nunez, Marlins (+2 short print)

225 - Jack LaLanne, fitness guru (+2 A&G back mini)

The most effective reason for regular exercise outside of a heart attack.

HH87 - Jeremy Hellickson, Rays (+1 Hometown Heroes insert)

Pack 11 total: 5 points
Total through 11 packs: 101 points

Hey, I hit the century mark before the halfway point! There might be hope for this box yet.


248 - Ervin Santana, Angels (0 points)
131 - Chris Iannetta, Rockies (0 points)
190 - Sue Bird, the best women's basketball player to have ever freakin' lived (NO points. This is a travesty).

136 - Dick Vitale, basketball broadcaster (+1 for not being Stuart Scott)

244 - Chone Figgins, Mariners (0 points)
203 - Aaron Hill, Blue Jays (0 points)

177 - Aaron Crow, Royals, regular-backed mini (0 points)

HH73 - Mark Teixeira, Yankees (+1 Hometown Heroes insert, -1 for being the most sickening current Yankee, 0 points)

Pack 12 total: 1 point
Total through 12 packs: 102 points

That is the worst Pack 12 ever. Pack 12 usually has a hit in it or SOMETHING.

But I know just the thing to make me feel better:

Gil doesn't give a fig about no GintyCufferoos.


  1. Lester is a favorite player, so you shorted yourself again good sir.

  2. If I was running this thing Vitale would be a minus 100.

    I counted my box three or four times and I'm still not sure I'm correct. Not going to matter though.

  3. okay, first Chipper Jones is 0 points, and now Tommy hanson!?!??!?

    who the hell is running this thing?

  4. My doctor has advised me to stay off of the egg sandwiches. "Too much cholesterol." That's a quote. I'm now on to donuts. In a big way.

    And Hershiser cards I don't have.

  5. Greg Z: Thanks! I hate math, especially when I'm in a rush to get a post out. 104 points it is!

    Commish: Vitale is actually a great guy, but I can see how his act can be annoying.

    CC: You need to talk to your fellow Braves fans. One picked Hudson, one picked Hayward, one picked Prado. Or maybe you should have joined!

    Mark A: Donuts? I would've thought the commissioner would have been a bacon man by now.

  6. What's with the monkey cards in Allen & Ginter Go Bucs!