It's the day before every single person who has pulled one of these million card giveaway promos can enter their codes to find out which cards they have received. I fully expect this site to crash tomorrow.
Yes, my expectations are low. And I have you guys to thank.
When I first heard about this giveaway and pulled one of these promo cards, I was excited. There are plenty of cool cards that Topps has made in 58 years that I don't have. And I have to admit that the thought of being handed a 1953 Jackie Robinson did cross my mind, no matter how unrealistic the rational side of me thought that was.
The promo card itself got my hopes up, too. "Card to be unlocked is not necessarily the one pictured." Well, that means it COULD be the one pictured doesn't it? It doesn't say, "you have no chance in hell of winning this card." So, it's official. I've got a respectable shot at landing a 1969 Mickey Mantle.
Then I listened to you folks. Dumb move. According to the guys who are most up on these things, there is a mountain of 1987 Topps with my name on it in this contest. You cynical, cynical people say I am going to relive 1989 all over again, a year in which every other card I pulled was Bob Brower.
And I believed you. One hundred percent. Because you've been right almost every time (I'll be kind and not mention the times when you were wrong).
I have eight code cards. My wife bought me three rack packs for Valentine's Day, and I pulled two more code cards that I didn't get a chance to scan.
That means, thanks to you, I definitely expect to land eight cards from the junk wax era when it comes down to code-entering time. Perhaps I'll get another Bob Brower. Maybe a 1989 Scott Bailes, which I also pulled with alarming frequency. I also expect something from excruciatingly boring 1992 Topps. Maybe a Heathcliff Slocumb.
Just to record my expectations for posterity, here's a list of what I think I'll get:
1. 1989 Bob Brower
2. 1989 Scott Bailes
3. 1992 Heathcliff Slocumb
4. 1990 Scott Garrelts
5. 1986 Mike Trujillo
6. 1993 Mike Lavalliere
7. 1987 Fred Toliver
8. 1991 Traded Rafael Belliard
Topps tells me those cards will go right into my portfolio and I can trade portfolio cards with other collectors. However, I'm not trading with anybody who wants that list of eight cards. Because if they do, they're not functioning properly.
Topps also says that when I feel the time is right, I can have these cards shipped to me for a fee. Nobody knows what that fee is. It's floating in a nebulous world that includes labor costs and credit-card tack-on charges. But I do know if these are the cards I win, Topps is going to have to pay ME to take them off their hands.
So, before this giveaway has even begun, I'm resigned to getting a small stack of junk. I don't know whether to blame the Cynical Internet or myself for believing the cynicism (as a cynic myself, I tend to listen to my people).
It's sad really. If everyone was a cynic, there'd be no Charlie, no Willie Wonka, and a golden ticket would produce nothing more than a pile Jeff Musselman cards.
But I'm remaining positive. No matter what I win. No matter how long it takes for me to find out what I win. No matter how long it takes for the cards to reach my hands. No matter how much I have to pay.
I'm staying positive because I might win this:
Yeah, it's a nobody. Yeah, it's 1988 Topps. Yeah, I have the card already.
But why wouldn't I want another one?