Rack pack blahs

In yet another unsettling development in the modern card scene, I have suddenly grown weary of rack packs.

This is disturbing.

In my cash-crunch state, I have subsisted on rack packs to obtain my weekly intake of modern card nutrients. Blasters bind up the system. But I have grown increasingly frustrated with the rack pack servings.

It's basically my own fault. I'm looking for Dodgers only, and buying rack packs isn't going to get that done. But I never thought it would be this brutal. For example, I have pulled a grand total of two Dodgers (Ramirez and Martin) out of Topps Chrome. Meanwhile I have dupes of five different Angels.

Last night I decided to try another Topps Chrome rack pack, plus a Bowman Chrome rack pack and a Topps Update rack pack. They were all hanging out together, side-by-side, and I couldn't resist trying out the newbies, along with my annoying friend, Topps Chrome.

I'm not going to show too many of the cards, because they're disappointing. Also, some of the cards already have destinations so I don't want anyone to get too excited.

But before I show what no one should get excited over, I just want to say this:

63 total cards
0 Dodgers

Yeah, I'm pissed.

OK, on to the "highlights":

TOPPS CHROME HIGHLIGHTS

This pack was so boring I am showing just one card:

Isn't it great when major league players take the time to come down to the local Little League park and take a few swings? I'm not sure, but there might be a metal folding chair in the background. I miss folding chairs on cards.

The rest of the pack sucked a vortex into my collecting soul. An orange refractor of Rich Harden, wearing a uniform he hasn't worn since 2009, is demoralizing.

Shockingly, I did not receive a single Angel in the pack. I am presently alerting authorities.

BOWMAN CHROME HIGHLIGHTS

BoChro might be the most deflating card brand ever. Absolutely every single time I buy this product, I puzzle over why I did it. I know it's not created for the way I collect, but good golly, do they have to make it so obvious?

Anyway. Some stuff that I got:

Phillip Pfeifer III attends Farragut High School. That is f---ing phenomenal. To the third power.

Also, Bowman apparently misspelled his first name as every reference I've seen spells it with one "L".

I received a card of this guy in both Bowman Chrome and Topps Chrome.

Two of the same player.

Zero Dodgers.

Just a reminder.

These would be cooler if:

a) I had heard of the players
b) Two of the three green refractors promised me in the pack weren't Nationals
c) I didn't get 0 Dodgers

Note to self: You are done buying this product.

TOPPS UPDATE HIGHLIGHTS

Sorry, Mr. Longoria for not showing the rest of you on the pack there, but at least the insides of your pack were a lot more interesting than the other two. Thirty-six cards in a pack had something to do with it.

Readers probably can see Boston's Josh Reddick peering through the pack. I received three Red Sox in the pack. I received four Reds. I received zero Dodgers.

I have no idea who this is or how his name is pronounced. But if it's the way I want it to be pronounced then I  hope people are making Phi Slamma Jamma references, or his nickname is "Hakeem," or "Clyde" or something.

Bowker opened the 2010 season starting in right field for the Giants. He was traded to the Pirates at the end of July. A little over two months later, his old team did something notable. But it's all in how you look at it, right? The Pirates could go out and win it all in 2011. Don't look at me like that.

I also received the regular version of this card in the pack. Zero Dodgers. Zero.

I would like you to pay close attention to the card pictured here. It is a 1972 Topps Carl Yastrzemski card. Topps would have you believe that my mom threw this card out on me.

Well, not only did my mom NOT throw out this card, but she actually PURCHASED this particular card for me.

It is also the ONLY card that my mom has ever gone out of her way to buy me. Ever.

That is an absolutely true story.

Topps has never been so wrong.

A Turkey Red card of Ben Sheets. Notice he has only one arm.

Man, I am really getting old.

OK, all you Gold Glove critics. I've just displayed a card featuring Derek Jeter and Elvis Andrus on the same card.

GO!......

I found this slightly interesting. John Buck and Jarrod Saltalamacchia were back-to-back. A guy with a really short name and a guy with a really long name. Buck, who seems to have hit a blast before a lovely young lady, apparently was an All-Star this year. I have no memory of that.

Those were the high points of Update.

Oh, wait ...

Please try to contain yourselves. Let me know what the code produces. Maybe gold coins will come out of your laptop.

Anyway, I'm fairly certain that if I buy any more rack packs for the rest of the year, that I'll be sticking with Update. It's more interesting and cheaper. And I'm bound to find a Dodger in the Update series eventually. I think.

Plus, the Million Card Giveaway can still draw me in.

That's what I got with the Yaz code card. A 1958 card is the oldest one I've redeemed yet. Also, he's the second-to-last guy listed in the all-time major league player directory.

That'll chase away the blahs.