Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Back before anyone knows anything's wrong
I yelled at my boss yesterday afternoon. It came out of nowhere. I had just stepped into the office not 5 minutes earlier and the words unexpectedly came out of me, in full view of everyone.
Fortunately, my argument was persuasive, and I actually received an apology, which, believe me, was stunning.
But the more interesting point to me was: where did this anger come from?
You may have noticed that I have been away. I was out of town for a couple of days. Usually, I have a few posts ready to go when I'm on the road. But with the work schedule I had last week, there was no time for that. Even if there was time, I sure didn't feel like writing anything.
Honestly, a couple of my posts last week were junk, the product of forcing myself to post because I believe that daily posting is necessary for the relevance of a blog. I shouldn't have posted, but I did. That made me annoyed at myself. Then there were a couple of posts by a couple of bloggers over a couple of weeks that really pissed me off. That made me annoyed at others.
I normally let this stuff just disappear into the ether as I imagine others do. But because of my overworked, irritable state, I couldn't let it go. The contradictions in one particular post irk me still. But this is a card blog only. So I'm moving on.
By the time I was released from my responsibilities about 3 a.m. Saturday morning, I was ready to make a clean break. I had a trip planned, so that was good, but I also thought about just stepping away from the blog business for a week or two. The trip would kick off my absence.
I even thought of deleting my Twitter account. I get pissed off by things I see on there even when I'm in a "I love everybody" mood.
But perhaps more disturbingly, I began to separate myself from my fellow collector by mentally listing the things that I do not like or have no interest in that a number of fellow collectors enjoy. For example:
1. I know next to nothing about computers, technology, Internet stuff or anything that would get me employed at Best Buy or a real, grown-up computer/technological/programming type job (my brother has a job in the industry and don't think he hasn't heard this line from me before -- it was in my wedding toast to him).
2. I was never into science fiction or comic books. I liked Star Wars and read Spiderman comics as a teen. I saw that V miniseries on TV. But that was more a phase than anything. I have not collected action figures since I was maybe 11.
3. I have never understood the attraction of pro wrestling. I actually went to a few live matches to figure it out. I think I understood it less after that.
4. I'm not into movies. I haven't watched movies regularly for 10-15 years. I don't know why. Whenever the topic of seeing a movie comes up, I'm always interested in doing something else. My personality won't allow me to sit for an hour-and-a-half unless a baseball game is on.
5. Video games only mildly amuse me. They were great fun as a teenager. And I still enjoy them, mostly from a nostalgic point of view, today. But I play them only occasionally. Being seen playing a video game when you're in your 40s is generally not recommended.
This is when I knew the exhaustion was taking over because I always focus on what separates myself from others when I'm at my most irritable.
When I'm in a happier state -- which really is my default state -- differences don't matter.
All that matters is that all of the people with whom I communicate on this blog like baseball, cards and collecting. Forget the views on a myriad other topics, no one is every going to agree on everything. Focus on the reason I started this blog and continue this blog:
It's the cards, stupid.
I've written about this before. And I don't know why I didn't remember the post in my idiotic state of pity.
I returned from my trip rested and ready to return to the blog immediately -- without my planned two-week break. The best part is I came up with a handful of ideas for blog posts, which was another area that was distressing me in recent weeks.
And then when I returned to my blog, I saw the results of the Oscar Gamble Best of the '70s poll. It seemed like confirmation that sometimes my fellow bloggers do see things the way I do.
The Oscar Gamble '76 Traded card, which is so beloved by seemingly all and has been the subject of numerous tributes, finished THIRD in the poll with seven votes. Gamble's regular '76 card, which I always thought was a underrated, placed second with eight votes.
And my all-time favorite Oscar Gamble card, the '75 beauty, was the semi-runaway winner with 14 votes.
Thank goodness. You guys finally got something right.
On that happy note, I headed to work.
All I needed to do was yell at my boss and all was right with the world again.
So I'm back. And you had no idea all of that was going on did you?
From now on, I need to tell myself: Get enough sleep, you don't need to fight every battle, and, most of all, focus on the cards.
The cards are all anybody wants to see here.
It's not like I can talk to you about pro wrestling.