I promised last week that I would reveal the players that I do not enjoy pulling from packs. This is considered "equal time," after I lavished praise on 10 non-Dodgers in this post.
Interestingly, most of the players listed here do not bother me, as far as their personality, behavior, playing style, etc. It seems that while all those factors go into the reasons why I enjoy getting cards of certain players, the main factor for why I dislike getting certain players is simply that I get too damn many of them.
None of these players, of course, are Dodgers (well, there is one small exception coming up), because I enjoy getting everyone who wears Dodger blue. Even fat Andruw.
With that, we are officially entering countdown mode:
10. Mark Teixeira. I have a sneaking suspicion that he could take a major leap up this list if I ever decide to update it. The guy just screams Mr. Money Bags. He's ticked off Braves fans. He's ticked off Angels fans. And by signing with the Yankees for great gobs of cash, he's ticked off anyone who hates the Yankees. He also kind of looks weird.
9. Alex Rodriguez. To tell you the truth, I never really minded getting cards of A-Rod, even though I never liked him and even after he joined the Yankees. But now, it's like getting cards of Barry Bonds. And if you know how much I do not like Barry, you know that ain't good. I wonder how the manhunt for A-Rod's unnamed cousin is going?
8. Jose Vidro. There are certain players that if they never made a baseball card of them, you wouldn't even know they exist. And for someone who played pretty regularly during his career, that's saying something. But that's what spending your whole career with Montreal and Seattle will do for you. To me, this is a waste of all of an xfractor's magical properties.
7. Nook Logan. There are some players that get entirely too many baseball cards. Logan has done virtually nothing to warrant getting on as many cards as he has, except for the fact that his name is "Nook." You know that's why the card companies want him in the set, so people can get all giddy and say, "look, his name is Nook." It's like when the local TV news keeps trotting out the squirrel water-skiing. By the way, Nook is totally photoshopped into his Nationals uniform, as he is posing in front of the same backdrop as a bunch of his former Tigers teammates in the 2006 and '07 cards.
6. Zack Greinke and Tom Gorzelanny. I've never done a study on whether modern card sets feature the same number of players for each team. I suspect that they don't. And they seem to struggle with who to feature with the small-market teams. Either that, or I just don't pay enough attention to small-market teams. But have these two guys really done enough to almost always be the first Royal and Pirate I pull from every set?
5. Jeff Weaver. Not a good look, Jeff. I can look at this card and picture him fidgeting and wiggling out there on the mound. Unfortunately, Weaver's now back with the Dodgers on a minor-league contract. So, if he makes it on the roster, I'll have to reverse course and look forward to Weaver cards again. Ugh.
4. Eric Chavez. Chavez has been in the majors for 10 years, and I know next to nothing about him. But I get cards of him at a rapid rate. Which makes me believe that I should know more about him, because I'm getting so many of his cards. And then that makes me feel guilty. And then that makes me not want to pull any Chavez cards because I'll feel guilty. It's a whole, ugly, downward spiral from there.
3. Carlos Lee. I am not sure exactly how many Carlos Lee cards I've pulled in the last three years. But I know it is enough to build a small shrine to him. By 2008, Lee was so embarrassed by the number of packs he was in, that he didn't even want to show his face for the camera.
See? They zoomed in a little closer on the Opening Day card and he still turned away.
2. Todd Helton. The mountain man himself. I pull an ungodly number of Helton cards. I really do not like the Rockies. But somebody seems to think that I love the team and that I want to invite Mr. Helton over for dinner and ask him about his hopes and dreams. At least this shot is mercifully far enough away. It seems like he has an enormous head in some of his close-ups.
1. Mickey Mantle. Yup, Topps has killed any fascination I ever had with pulling a card of Mantle. Especially since they started featuring him in polo shirts and suits. You could burn every one of my Mantle cards in a bonfire in my backyard and I wouldn't shed a tear. (Of course, I don't own any cards of him from his playing days).
Nice going, Topps.
So, that's my list. I even left a few guys out (Adrian Gonzalez, Johnny Estrada, Lance Berkman, you're lucky). I'd be interested to know what players, that when you pull their cards, make you say, "You again."
Interestingly, most of the players listed here do not bother me, as far as their personality, behavior, playing style, etc. It seems that while all those factors go into the reasons why I enjoy getting cards of certain players, the main factor for why I dislike getting certain players is simply that I get too damn many of them.
None of these players, of course, are Dodgers (well, there is one small exception coming up), because I enjoy getting everyone who wears Dodger blue. Even fat Andruw.
With that, we are officially entering countdown mode:
10. Mark Teixeira. I have a sneaking suspicion that he could take a major leap up this list if I ever decide to update it. The guy just screams Mr. Money Bags. He's ticked off Braves fans. He's ticked off Angels fans. And by signing with the Yankees for great gobs of cash, he's ticked off anyone who hates the Yankees. He also kind of looks weird.
9. Alex Rodriguez. To tell you the truth, I never really minded getting cards of A-Rod, even though I never liked him and even after he joined the Yankees. But now, it's like getting cards of Barry Bonds. And if you know how much I do not like Barry, you know that ain't good. I wonder how the manhunt for A-Rod's unnamed cousin is going?
8. Jose Vidro. There are certain players that if they never made a baseball card of them, you wouldn't even know they exist. And for someone who played pretty regularly during his career, that's saying something. But that's what spending your whole career with Montreal and Seattle will do for you. To me, this is a waste of all of an xfractor's magical properties.
7. Nook Logan. There are some players that get entirely too many baseball cards. Logan has done virtually nothing to warrant getting on as many cards as he has, except for the fact that his name is "Nook." You know that's why the card companies want him in the set, so people can get all giddy and say, "look, his name is Nook." It's like when the local TV news keeps trotting out the squirrel water-skiing. By the way, Nook is totally photoshopped into his Nationals uniform, as he is posing in front of the same backdrop as a bunch of his former Tigers teammates in the 2006 and '07 cards.
6. Zack Greinke and Tom Gorzelanny. I've never done a study on whether modern card sets feature the same number of players for each team. I suspect that they don't. And they seem to struggle with who to feature with the small-market teams. Either that, or I just don't pay enough attention to small-market teams. But have these two guys really done enough to almost always be the first Royal and Pirate I pull from every set?
5. Jeff Weaver. Not a good look, Jeff. I can look at this card and picture him fidgeting and wiggling out there on the mound. Unfortunately, Weaver's now back with the Dodgers on a minor-league contract. So, if he makes it on the roster, I'll have to reverse course and look forward to Weaver cards again. Ugh.
4. Eric Chavez. Chavez has been in the majors for 10 years, and I know next to nothing about him. But I get cards of him at a rapid rate. Which makes me believe that I should know more about him, because I'm getting so many of his cards. And then that makes me feel guilty. And then that makes me not want to pull any Chavez cards because I'll feel guilty. It's a whole, ugly, downward spiral from there.
3. Carlos Lee. I am not sure exactly how many Carlos Lee cards I've pulled in the last three years. But I know it is enough to build a small shrine to him. By 2008, Lee was so embarrassed by the number of packs he was in, that he didn't even want to show his face for the camera.
See? They zoomed in a little closer on the Opening Day card and he still turned away.
2. Todd Helton. The mountain man himself. I pull an ungodly number of Helton cards. I really do not like the Rockies. But somebody seems to think that I love the team and that I want to invite Mr. Helton over for dinner and ask him about his hopes and dreams. At least this shot is mercifully far enough away. It seems like he has an enormous head in some of his close-ups.
1. Mickey Mantle. Yup, Topps has killed any fascination I ever had with pulling a card of Mantle. Especially since they started featuring him in polo shirts and suits. You could burn every one of my Mantle cards in a bonfire in my backyard and I wouldn't shed a tear. (Of course, I don't own any cards of him from his playing days).Nice going, Topps.
So, that's my list. I even left a few guys out (Adrian Gonzalez, Johnny Estrada, Lance Berkman, you're lucky). I'd be interested to know what players, that when you pull their cards, make you say, "You again."
Comments
Zach Greinke is a pretty good pitcher. I can thank my fantasy baseball knowledge for that info.
But, if you still have too many ZacK's laying around, I will always be willing to find them a new home.