If you're not clicking on this because "it's just another night card," then you're missing out.
Yup, that's my teaser to get you to read this junk.
It's award season and Major League Baseball is kicking off its theme week with the Rookie of the Year Awards today. Personally, I don't care much about the awards until we get to Thursday, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun with them.
One of the players contending for the A.L. rookie award is Mark Trumbo for the Angels. I don't know if he's going to win. It could be Jeremy Helllickson or Michael Pineda. But how can you ignore 29 home runs in a rookie season?
Unless you're me, that is.
You're probably wondering why I've got a card of Mike Trout here if I'm talking about Mark Trumbo.
Well, I'm secure enough to tell you that I simply mixed them up. I don't follow the Angels -- they're too far away and in the wrong league. I'm not a prospector, so young guys in their first year in the majors rarely mean anything to me. Finally, each player has the initials "M.T." It's like they WANT people to mix them up. Sneaky whippersnappers with their fancy similar sounding names.
But I'm not going to let that stop me -- especially since I pulled the cards already -- which is why I now present to you the:
People, this is stuff you'll never see on the MLB Network.
This came about as I was looking at Trout's card and thinking, "wasn't there another Angels player that had a fish name?" Of course, that name was "Salmon," and I'm sure thousands of Angels fans have made the connection already. But I just made the connection last week and I need to validate it here on this blog.
But after getting past the Angels -- they also have another player with a fish name, Hank Conger, and then there's that whole "angelfish" thing -- it wasn't easy filling out the team, as you'll see.
So without further screw-ups from me, here is the all-fish team. I think I deserves some royalties for every customer Red Lobster picks up after I publish this:
PITCHER - Jim "Catfish" Hunter
Jim neither looked nor acted like a catfish. A's owner Charlie Finley gave him the nickname just because he thought it stood out.
CATCHER - Steve Lake
Going with "Lake" for the all-fish team is kind of like going with "spotted" for an all-dog team. It's a description, not a species. But I'm not the one that named the "Lake Chubb." So we've got ourselves a catcher.
FIRST BASEMAN - Sid Bream
It is only because Bream mimicked the movements of the European common bream that he was able to slide past Pirates catcher Mike Lavalliere and win the 1992 NLCS title for the Braves. Sid was the "Fish That Doomed Pittsburgh."
SECOND BASEMAN - Mel Roach
The European roach appears to be a smallish fish, which fits with Roach's light-hitting ways. He was often used as a pinch-hitter. He later went on to be a bank vice-president, which means he's smarter than a dude compiling an all-fish team.
SHORTSTOP - Melvin Mora
Two posts in a row for this Melvin Mora card! (That means I'm lazy, everyone). I know it says "third base" on the card, but he's flopping over to shortstop for my team.
It was not easy finding an image for a mora. It is also known as the "googly-eyed cod," but I couldn't find a major leaguer with that name.
THIRD BASEMAN - Jack Brohamer
Brohamer also played third base in his career, so ignore that "second base" icon. Besides, a team of fish playing on land would be flopping all over the place. You'd never be able to get them to stay at their position.
Brohamer's fish is the "Jack," of which there is the amberjack, black jack, yellow jack, etc. The one in the photo is a black jack. It looks spooky.
LEFT FIELD - Mike Trout
Sooz, at a A Cardboard Problem, has been talking about Mike Trout for at least two years now because he's a New Jersey boy. That alone should have helped me separate Mike Trout from Mark Trumbo. But I have this thing called a "prospect filter" in my brain. It was working overtime during the whole Bryce Harper craze and I guess it malfunctioned.
CENTER FIELD - Kevin Bass
Bass' nickname was not "largemouth." That just seems like an opportunity wasted.
RIGHT FIELD - Tim Salmon
Look at all those different kind of salmon. Ain't they yummy? Until Mike Trout blows up, Tim Salmon has the fishiest name of all major league fish names to ever fishy fish fish.
Sorry, I'm really hungry. And I love salmon.
But before I get something to eat, a handful of honorable mention fish names:
Pitcher: Chris "Carp"enter, Jack Chesbro, Galen Sisco, Jared/Jeff "Yellow" Weaver, Chris Ray, Dizzy and Steve Trout
Outfield: Jack Clark, Sam "Wahoo" Crawford, Ralph Gar(r), Randy Bass
I'm sure there's others, but food is calling.
Enjoy the award announcements.
Remember, Mike Trout is not up for an award.
Night Card Binder Candidate: Mike Trout, 2011 Topps Update, #175
Does it make the binder?: Waiting for a ruling ...