Friday, February 20, 2015

The guilt

I wasn't raised Jewish, but I was raised Catholic. So I know something about guilt. It is Lent, after all.

Guilt has been a constant in my life.

I am a white male. Elements of society say I should feel guilty. And I oblige. I do feel guilty.

I am a son and a father. I feel guilty.

I am a husband. I feel guilty.

I live far from relatives. I feel guilty.

I am middle-class. I feel guilty about making too much and not making enough.

I am an employee and an employer. I feel guilt from above and below.

I am a pet-owner. The dog lays on the guilt trip.

I am a neighbor. I feel guilty over whether my walk is shoveled as quickly as others, my lawn is mowed as quickly as others, my Christmas decorations are up too early or too late.

I am a consumer. I feel guilty about not owning the device everyone around me owns. I feel guilty about not getting the best deal I can possibly get. I feel guilty about missing out on SAVINGS! I feel guilty about not seeing whatever movie everyone is watching, whatever TV show everyone is watching, whatever restaurant everyone is visiting, whatever event in town everyone else is attending.

I am a car owner. I feel guilty over whether I've changed the oil, had the shocks checked, rotated the tires. waxed the hood, stopped in for the regular 3-, 6-, 9-, 12-month checkups.

I am a fan. I feel guilt about whether my favorite team or its players are performing or behaving "correctly".

I am a human being. I feel guilty about whether I'm eating too much or the right thing, whether I'm exercising consistently, whether I'm doing what the doctor says, whether I'm helping others, whether I should be reading to invalids in the nursing home, whether I'm donating enough money to enough causes, whether my carbon footprint is too big, whether I'm using too much paper at the office, whether I'm breathing germs on someone, whether I'm raising a child according to the hundreds of different conflicting bits of advice.

I am a card collector. I feel guilty about having too many cards or not enough cards. I feel guilty about neglecting card packages (as I did this week).

And I am a blogger. I feel guilt over missing a day, whether the post is up to my standards and ... blast it all, even whether the scans are straight. And there's the other side: the guilt about spending too much time online.

But there is one thing I refuse to feel guilt over:

Featuring cards that someone sent me.

Granted, I try to make trade posts about "something else" and that's the guilt talking, as if simply saying "hey, here are some cards someone sent me out of the goodness of their heart" isn't worth reading.

Of course, it's worth reading! Shame on those who don't read it. THEY should feel guilty. Not me.

So here are some cards that Cards On Cards sent me out of the goodness of his heart:

A Chromey Mega Box-exclusive thing that is false advertising because if it really was a Mega Box, you would be able to spot it from the parking lot.

An Update card from last season of  Mr. Puig, demonstrating with his haircut exactly how much free time ball players possess.

And a Gypsy Queen mini of the great Sandy Koufax.

I needed every one of those cards. I refuse to feel guilty about that.

Or about posting them here.

I know that feeling guilt is pretty much instinct in my life, but it's got to stop somewhere.

Trade posts are good place to start.

(P.S.: I feel a lot less guilt over the above things that I mentioned than I once did. The older you get, the more you realize guilt in most cases is nothing more than outside people and forces placing unrealistic expectations on you. Learn that and the guilt fades away).


  1. I still haven't sent you a Zippy Zapping this year because I'm trying to evenly distribute the Dodgers I have with the Dodgers collectors I know. I feel guilty.

  2. So many Dodgers much guilt.

  3. Just remember that you are always innocent until proven otherwise.

  4. Man.. that's a lot of guilt and a really cool Koufax.

  5. I feel guilty that I'm behind on trade posts again. And reading blogs. But I'm glad I saw this one.