That's wack

File this under the "why did I buy this" category. I was even warned. I bought one anyway.

Wacky Packages were one of the first "card" sets I ever bought. I was buying them at the same time I was buying my very first baseball card set, in 1975.

The 2014 Wacky Packages Chrome set is based on the original series of Wacky's that came out in 1967 and 1973. Even though I didn't buy Wacky's until 1975, I do remember some of the original stickers from 1973. They must have been floating around from some of the older kids.

Anyway, the Wacky's that both me and my brother purchased then are long gone, stuck on many forgotten objects in various forgotten ways. But the thrill of seeing one of those original Wacky stickers from '73 is still there. And I can still remember some of the first ones I saw: Boo Hoo Drink, Hawaiian Punks Juice and Rice A Phoni.

I almost crave those old stickers like a 1975 Topps mini or a 1977 Topps football card. It's a true attachment to carefree childhood days. I've written about it before.

So, yeah, I bought a pack of the Chrome stuff from 2014. For $2.99. For four cards.

I am an Ajerx.

The packages are transparent, so you can see the first card in the package. That caused me to look through the entire bin in order to get a nostalgia high and also pick out the best one (since even a fool isn't going to buy more than one $2.99 pack of this) from my childhood.

I settled one this one. Totally remember this as a kid. Hilarious.

But after the laughter died down, I was disappointed.

Let's address the biggest flaw of this set:

IT'S NOT A STICKER!

I know. You're shocked. I am, too. I can get past the Chrome thing, although it's pretty pointless, but can we at least make it a Chrome sticker? I already paid $2.99 for it -- please let me plaster this where I please.

Past Wacky's would peel off on the black border. This one doesn't.

Here is the second card in the pack. It's actually a checklist of the first series (cards 1-44). The first series addresses the Wacky Packages cards issued in 1967. (The other two series in the 107-card set are from the 1973 series).

This is the card that I tried to peel, seeing that it was a meaningless checklist. I thought it might peel off at the edge of the card (although that's not in the spirit of Wacky's and the black border). It didn't. I was merely ruining the card.

This is an insert. I don't want inserts with my stickers (or non-stickers). It's from the Wacky Ads insert set. I've seen the Wacky Ads in other modern-day Wacky Packages sets. They don't interest me. I want the stickers from my childhood, that's all.

But instead we get parallels and the chance to pull autographs from the artists and -- dammit I just want to see some goofball on the front of a box of food throwing up!

This is another insert, called "Cutting Room Floor Wackys", based on ideas back during the '67 and '73 Series that never made it.

This is pointless to me. Because my whole objective to buying this is to see cards/stickers that I actually saw in 1975. Not to see cards/stickers I DIDN'T see.

And that was the fourth card. So that's the end of the pack. Meaning I got one card from the 107-card set, two inserts and a checklist.

Don't buy this.

Nostalgia is a terrible thing.