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Brain go boom!

OK, when I left for work last night, I was feeling a mild acetaminophen buzz (sinus issues), content with the Dodgers' path to the postseason: don't break any waves, pick up a nobody here and a nobody there, just get to the playoffs.

I had been doing a good job of ignoring their back-of-the-rotation issues and the offense's periodic pitfalls.

Then, during one of the two minutes I have free at work, near the end of my shift, a split second before all hell breaks loose, I click on MLB Trade Rumors. And there it is: "Dodgers Acquire Jim Thome."

"That's funny," I thought, "I have this dream all the time." And I do: the Dodgers acquire one of my favorite non-Dodgers ever. But, you know, I wake up and I go on with my regular rat-infested, Thome-ain't-a-Dodger life.

But this wasn't a dream. I know that, because a minute later, I find the time to click on the site again, just to make sure. Only this time, not only is the "Dodgers Acquire Jim Thome" still there, but there is a new heading that says, "Dodgers Acquire Jon Garland."

By now, someone is babbling in my ear, "this story is ready to cut on C3" or "the U.S. Open story is short," or something. I don't actually know, because all I can think is: Brain. Can't. Process. Brain. Go. Boom!

And now it's official -- announced by the Dodgers in the eighth inning of their game. I can't believe it. Ned Colletti just pulverized everyone in the NL West. The Rockies get Jose Contreras, the Giants get Brad Penny, and the Dodgers get Jim Thome AND Jon Garland. And so far they've only given up a minor prospect and a player to be named. Colletti, you magnificent bastard!

I know what you're thinking: "Where is Thome going to play? He's a DH." I don't care. It's Jim freakin' Thome! Do you know how many years I've wanted this guy on my team?

Garland isn't all that impressive, but I know the Dodgers' rotation. They need assistance. That's what Garland is good for, assistance.

But Thome! That is so COOL!

And you wondered why I hadn't written about Ronnie Belliard yet. See? I knew.

Comments

Anthony K. said…
this easily helps the Dodgers lock up the West.

But, can it push them over the top and get them past the Phillies or Cardinals?
Nachos Grande said…
I'm jealous of anyone who follows a team with management who cares.

Just sayin'. On the upside, my Reds swept the Pirates in a doubleheader with approximately 2,000 people in attendance. Woo.
Andy said…
In my opinion, not a good move by the Dodgers. Thome can't play the field at all so he's limited to being a pinch-hitter. Matt Stairs was accustomed to that role--Thome is not. My guess is that he'll end up having very little impact for the Dodgers.
capewood said…
I felt pretty much the same way when Thome signed with the Phillies a few years back. I always liked Thome. He had 2 good years (2003 and 2004) and the Phillies record improved with him. But he didn't play much on 2005 and it looks like he was just keeping first base warm for Ryan Howard.He hasn't played a significant number of games in the field since 2004. I'm hoping he does well but if he's limited to pitch hitting how much impact can he have with 1 at-bat a game?
--David said…
I couldn't believe it either. Thome is one of my favorite players. Frankly, I was ticked at the Sox, but I have to offer congrats to the Dodgers. He is awesome!
BASEBALL DAD said…
Well there goes your chance for the World Series ! We couldn't win it with him,Philly made it after they traded him and Chicago couldn't make with him ! I love the guy too,I have over 900 of his Indian cards,but this is a bad omen for L.A.! I can just see you guys trading him and Manny back to Cleveland next year ! LOL He is a terrific guy and will put people in the seats.