To demonstrate exactly how "2020" this postseason could turn, the Astros could conceivably knock off, in order, the three teams with the most justifiable gripes against them -- the A's, Yankees and Dodgers -- en route to a World Series title that nobody wants to see.
If this happens, it's quite possible I will turn off all electronic devices for a month straight as I have as much desire to watch the Reddicks, Josh and Jett (if that is your real name), celebrate and babble nonsense as I do monitoring the Election Day hooey that will follow shortly afterward.
Not a lot good can come out of this postseason. That's OK, because I'm not putting much stock in the champion of a 60-game season. (Sure, if the Dodgers win I'll parade that title down the middle of the freeway).
In that frame of mind, I've adjusted somewhat my annual look at the 16 potential World Series matchups. After 10 years of doing this, I've scrapped the nifty titles that were supposed to sum up each showdown. In its place I've tracked down a player for each matchup who played for those two teams and no other team. I'm also going try to cut down on words for each matchup. We'll see how that goes.
OK, here are the 16 possible World Series clashes. Some are pretty dire. But the good news is you can count which pharmaceutical drug commercial you see the most often! Will it be Humira? Trulicity? The Chantix ice skating turkey? I sure do those miss those Wagner Power Painter commercials.
1. Dodgers vs. Rays -- the Adam Kolarek Series
What's good about it: The top two seeds made the World Series! Yay!
What's bad about it: The Rays win and still have the satisfaction of receiving Carl Crawford's best years.
Who I want to win: Dodgers.
2. Marlins vs. Yankees -- the Giancarlo Stanton Series
What's good about it: We get to see if Don Mattingly can still squeeze into a Yankees uniform?
What's bad about it: So. Many. Derek. Jeter. Video. Retrospectives. It may finish me off.
Who I want to win: Marlins.
3. Braves vs. Astros -- the Evan Gattis Series
What's good about it: I get to root for the Braves. That rarely happens.
What's bad about it: The reading on my excitement level for this series will match the level when somebody says "look what I saw on Facebook."
Who I want to win: Braves.
4. Padres vs. A's -- the Eric Show Series
What's good about it: For once, Twitter will be happy. I sense more Twitter folk rooting for these two teams than any other.
What's bad about it: An ungodly amount of yellow.
Who I'd want to win: A's.
5. Dodgers vs. Yankees -- the Hiroki Kuroda Series
What's good about it: Television executives can hold lavish parties? I don't know.
What's bad about it: I am the only Dodgers fan in a sea of Yankees fans where I live.
Who I'd want to win: Dodgers
6. Marlins vs. Astros -- the Reggie Abercrombie Series
What's good about it: This Series will bore a lot of people. So those of us who are actual baseball fans will have it all to ourselves.
What's bad about it: I'm probably going to be too bored to watch.
Who I want to win: Marlins
7. Braves vs. A's -- the Glenn Hubbard Series
What's good about it: Lots of viewings of the 1984 Fleer Glenn Hubbard snake card.
What's bad about it: This is a matchup of one of the best teams of the 1970s vs. one of the worst team of the 1970s. The kid in me will have difficulty reconciling.
Who I want to win: A's.
8. Padres vs. Rays -- the Wil Myers Series
What's good about it: Everyone will pull out their 2013 Wil Myers cards and reminisce.
What's bad about it: If my job was to contract baseball teams, these two teams would be No. 4 and 5 on the list.
Who I want to win: Rays.
9. Dodgers vs. Astros -- the Josh Fields Series
What's good about it: Revenge. Pay back. Winning All The Twitter Fights.
What's bad about it: The opposite of above.
Who I want to win: Dodgers.
10. Marlins vs. A's -- the Michael Neu Series
What's good about it: You get to figure out who Michael Neu is! (He's the current coach for the University of California).
What's bad about it: Nobody is ever going to remember who won the 2020 World Series.
Who I want to win: A's.
11. Braves vs. Rays -- the Terrell Wade Series
What's good about it: Well, if this was any other year and teams were playing in their own ballparks, I'd say that everyone gets to save on gas mileage. But since it's not, I guess I'll just say, the matchup sort of rhymes? Maybe?
What's bad about it: I don't remember Terrell Wade at all.
Who I want to win: Rays
12. Padres vs. Yankees -- the Oscar Azocar Series
What's good about it: Tributes to Cardboard Legend Oscar Azocar!!!
What's bad about it: My least favorite Series possibility. At least I made it my choice in Cardboard Crack's World Series contest so I won't be quite as despondent.
Who I want to win: Padres.
13. Dodgers vs. A's -- the Bob Welch Series
What's good about it: So many memories of these two teams playing against each other in the World Series. I know the 1988 World Series mentions would border on overkill but I won't care. Show me more!
What's bad about it: Some A's fans will be yelling about revenge and I'll be holding up a sign that says: 1974! 1974!!!!!!
Who I want to win: Dodgers.
14. Marlins vs. Rays Series -- the Trevor Richards Series
What's good about it: The ratings will be so low it will kill the baseball postseason appearing on TV forever. From that point forward, the World Series will be available only by pulling your grandfather's CB radio out of the closet and doing whatever you have to do to hear stuff out of a CB radio.
What's bad about it: I don't know how to work a CB radio.
Who I want to win: Rays.
15. Braves vs. Yankees -- the Tom Hughes Series
What's good about it: I'm going to tell you who Tom Hughes was: Hughes pitched for the Yankees and Braves between 1907-18. He pitched back-to-back 16-win seasons in 1915 and 1916 for the Braves.
What's bad about it: So many bad, bad late '90s Series memories in which I wanted both teams to lose.
Who I want to win: Braves.
16. Padres vs. Astros -- the Brett Wallace Series
What's good about it: This is the Series matchup that would cause the most rejoicing on Twitter if the Padres won -- come to think about it, this is what's bad about it.
What's bad about it: I really dislike each team.
Who I'd want to win: Padres.
Just to relay how much things have changed over the years and even the last couple of years: remember when Manny Machado was a reviled Dodger, who did evil, despicable things and was never to be celebrated?
Now Machado is a member of the Padres and people are rejoicing every good thing that happens to him.
Social media never makes sense.
But that's 2020 for ya. As usual, for the eighth straight year, I'll be rooting for the Dodgers. But if they don't win, all you'll get is a shrug from me.
Better than watching the news, I guess.
Comments
Also, kudos on the Reggie Abercrombie reference, whom I know from his long career with the Winnipeg Goldeyes.
Worst: Astros over Dodgers
Most Entertaining: Dodgers over Yankees
Most Boring: Rays over Marlins
#1: A's vs. Padres (I'd want the A's to win, but wouldn't be sad if they lost)
#16: Yankees vs. Dodgers (I'd want the Dodgers to win)
Honestly... as long as the Yankees don't with #28 and the Astros don't win #2... I'll be a pretty happy camper.