
Alright, I've been threatening to do this for months, so I finally had an hour to kill and went through my cards to find 20 bespectacled candidates for "The Best Glasses in the History of Baseball Cards, the Sequel."
The
last countdown was
Topps only. That didn't seem very fair to me. So I'm doing another countdown of non-
Topps cards to see if the claim still holds up: does Kent
Tekulve have the best glasses in the history of baseball cards?" He easily won last time, against what was probably much tougher competition. My non-
Topps cards only go back to 1981, so there are none of the wacky frames from the '60s and '70s to challenge
Tekulve. Also, I limited it to 20 players, instead of the 25 I went with the first time.
I realize that no glasses countdown is complete without
this card. But I don't have it, so as far as this countdown is concerned it doesn't exist.
On with the countdown. Hope you enjoy it as much as the first:

20. Jeff McKnight, 1991 Score. Long hair, mustache and some bodacious frames. That is one daring look for a rookie. Sadly, McKnight's lovely visage didn't last long in the majors. He was done by 1994. He's also the subject of a much-repeated on-air flub by
Mets broadcaster Ralph
Kiner, also mentioned by the sponsor of McKnight's
baseball-reference.com page.

19. John
Lowenstein, 1984
Fleer. What is it with Orioles wearing glasses? I really tried to find a Dodger to put on one of these lists, but aside from Steve Yeager there really wasn't a lot out there. The Orioles, on the other hand, seem drawn to the vision-challenged. It doesn't seem like a trait the team should be scouting.

18. Johnny
Grubb, 1984
Fleer. The only reason he's here is because he looks exactly like a high school coach that I know.

17. Tom
Henke, 1989
Fleer.
Henke is scaring the
bejesus out of hitters by going with the
squinty look. "Hey, I can't see very well. Did I mention I throw 95?"

16.
Lenn Sakata, 1982
Donruss. Another Oriole. This is the first player to appear on both lists. But not the last.
Sakata gets bonus points for wearing the bright orange jersey. I loved those things.

15. Reggie Jackson, 1981
Fleer. Reggie also appears on both lists. I think the only reason he made this list is because
Fleer decided to call him Mr. Baseball. When was he ever known as Mr. Baseball?

14. Leon Durham, 1983
Fleer. I bet there are at least two Cubs fans reading this right now that are thinking of the error Durham made in Game 5 of the 1984
NLCS. But these are happier times. Look at Durham and a teammate checking something/someone out in the stands.

13. Mitch Williams, 1994 Score. If you're going to wear glasses (technically shades, I guess), wear ones that say "Killer 100P" on the side. I saw Williams on the
MLB Network defend Luis Castillo for not using two hands on the pop fly he dropped against the Yankees. Bizarre.

12. Tom Hume, 1983
Donruss. Hume vaults from No. 20 on the last countdown to No. 12 here. You cannot go wrong with square frames. It'll get you on the countdown every time.

11. Greg
Luzinski, 1985
Fleer. It was a sad day when
Luzinski starting wearing glasses. Not as sad as when Fernando Valenzuela did the same, but sad just the same. Look, he doesn't seem happy, does he?

10. Max
Venable, 1986
Donruss. Max just doesn't look like a ballplayer here. He looks like he just bought the entire Reds get-up at the souvenir stand and wandered onto the field at Dodger Stadium. But he was enough of a major
leaguer to spawn a current big
leaguer in Will
Venable.

9. Fred
Breining, 1982
Donruss.
Breining returns to the countdown. Perhaps you're thinking that glasses are not a good look for
Breining.

There he is without the glasses. Now, tell me. Which look is better?

8. Darrell Porter, 1981
Donruss. Porter is back as well, and looks as intimidating as hell. He's wearing thick frames and a baby blue jersey, and he still looks like he could put me 10 feet in the ground.

7. Bob Watson, 1984
Fleer. Poor Bob just never appeared all that with it on his baseball cards, and the glasses didn't help. But obviously he had some smarts as he's been a GM and worked in
MLB management for quite awhile.

6. Rudy May, 1983
Fleer. Whatever
Fleer did to make Rudy May look like a horror film demon certainly worked. This photo is just disturbing.

5. Ron
Kittle, 1983
Fleer. I love this card. One of my favorites.
Kittle was something else when he came up. You didn't think a dude with glasses could mash like that. But he could. For a little bit anyway.

4. Greg
Minton, 1982
Fleer. "What did that guy just say? Did he just call me 'four-eyes?' Tell me, what did he say? I'll kick his ass."

3. Chris
Sabo, 1993
Donruss. SPUDS! The best thing about
Sabo was he played like a maniac while seeming to be completely unaware of how wacky he looked with those goggles. I miss Spuds.

2. Kent
Tekulve, 1984
Fleer. OH NO! An incredible upset!
Tekulve has been knocked out of the top spot! The king is dead! Even with the golden jacket and the square cap, it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough because of this:

1. Alex Cole, 1992 Studio. Mercy, what a great card. Mr. Cole you have done well, knocking out someone of
Tekulve's stature. You truly have the best glasses in the history of baseball cards.
Until next time.
(Sorry, Mr. Tekulve, there is no recount).
Comments
But how does Danny MacFayden not make the list? Were there voting irregularities or something? Check out these glasses:http://cgi.ebay.com/1933-Goudey-156-Danny-MacFayden-PSA-7_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trkparmsZ65Q3a1Q7c66Q3a2Q7c39Q3a1Q7c240Q3a1318Q7c301Q3a0Q7c293Q3a1Q7c294Q3a50QQ_trksidZp3286Q2ec0Q2em14QQhashZitem27a9457f30QQitemZ170343628592QQptZUSQ5fSMQ5fSportsQ5fCardsQQsalenotsupported
I feel real bad about leaving out Gantner -- I'm aware of his massive specs -- but he just didn't make the cut. The cards where he has close-up shots he's not wearing glasses. Downing's another guy who just missed the cut.
http://number5typecollection.blogspot.com/2009/04/1976-hostess-5-bob-watson.html
Chuck McElroy should also receive an honorable mention for his early '90s monstrosities.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8BVcGoREYwc/SIdguNhj2AI/AAAAAAAABoM/UqQcYBfmneg/s400/Lowell%2BPalmer%2B1970.jpg
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/players/pics/lowell_palmer_autograph.jpg