I am moving my 10th anniversary giveaway, yet again, to Monday. My apologies and feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me in the comments, but you don't know what I'm doing in the rest of my life. If I appear to be "mopey" on this blog, get back to me when your parents are aging and ailing and hundreds of miles away and tell me how that blog is doing.
Anyway, Monday is a day off and I'm not traveling anywhere -- I think -- and there are no emergencies scheduled, so I'll kick it off then. Life has been so hectic that it's five games into the NLCS featuring my favorite team and I've watched exactly one-and-a-quarter games. During the 13-inning game that ended beyond 2 in the morning, I went to bed at midnight. Night Owl in his nest at midnight.
You can imagine how little time I have for pieces of cardboard. And in this modern era of cardboard in which it's a full-time job to keep track of what Topps is issuing, I laugh at all of the parallels intended to occupy my time. Parallels???? My life has no time for parallels!!!! In fact, I have no idea what parallels are being made or even whether a certain card IS a parallel. I fart in the general direction of parallels!
I definitely need subtitles for stuff like that. There's no time for research or deduction.
Fortunately, Marc at Remember the Astrodome knows this and he provided helpful subtitles on several of the cards that he sent:
Silver Parallels. Yes, thank goodness for this note. The 1990s-type parallels are sometimes impossible to catch and often incapable of making me care. I never would have figured these for cards I need.
There they are. Silver Parallels. This automatically makes me wonder how many Silver Parallels currently reside in my dupes box.
Glossy Parallel. Again, this very flustered night owl appreciates this note because, quite frankly, I had no idea Donruss Team Heroes created glossy parallels.
This is the Glossy Parallel. You and me are just going to have to take the note at its word here. I really can't tell much of a difference between this and the regular Team Heroes card. Again, the dupes box is probably crawling with glossies and I have no time to go through that thing.
Here is a Bronze Parallel. Note or no note, I would like to think I will never be too busy to not know that this is a parallel. However, I always appreciate the extra help.
There it is. Kinda looks burnt orange to me, but I'm just a '70s kid who colored with 64 Crayola crayons with a built-in sharpener.
A Shock Parallel. OK, I didn't know that was a thing and I'm impressed that Marc did. If I hadn't seen the front of the card before the back, this note wouldn't be helping me at all and I might be a bit concerned. "Shock" Parallel??? Do I want to turn it over?
ARE YOU SHOCKED???
This is a fancy-looking card. There is a heart-beat monitor effect on the card. Is that the "shock" Panini is going for in the description? If so, that's kind of serious for a non-serious hobby. I don't think it's referring to "shock waves" as those are circular (or maybe elliptical) in nature. Anyway, I like the card.
Marc added several other parallel needs, but without the subtitles. I was able to carve out a couple of minutes to determine that I needed them, although I still don't know the names of some.
I wasn't around in the hobby to collect 1997 Score but every time I see the abundant and fairly pointless parallels I know the set would've pissed me off.
All right, but what a very busy collector needs are non-parallel cards, right? Were there any regular base cards in this package, or at the very least some inserts? You know, cards that don't need to be deciphered?
Yes, I'm happy there were some of those. And needs, too.
Just about every Dodger fan has written Cody Bellinger off of doing anything in the postseason, so thank goodness for Game 4.
I could probably provide a sentence for each of the above cards that I displayed, but every thought fell out of my head when I saw this "need":
A 1990s-style parallel of a card issued 25 years ago, multiple versions of which are without a doubt swimming around in my dupes box.
Yup, I definitely have no time for this.
Although I wish the circumstances were different, I'm pretty proud that I have no time for this kind of dumbness anymore.