The cap makes the ballplayer

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine

I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they'll never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind

We can go where we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat
From our hands to our feet
And surprise 'em with a victory cry

I say, we can act if we want to
If we don't, nobody will
And you can act real rude
And totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile

I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything is out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody's taking the chance

Safety dance
We'll safety dance
Yes, the safety dance

-- "Safety Dance," Men Without Hats

(Someone with a complete or nearly complete 2013 Heritage set will have to crunch the numbers for me.

My theory is that there are more cards of hatless ballplayers in this year's Heritage than there was in the original 1964 set. But all I have to go on is the fact that out of 114 Heritage cards I own so far, 14 feature hatless players. That's just over 12 percent.

In the 1964 set, 35 of the 587 cards in the set featured an individual card of a hatless player -- yes, I counted. That is just shy of 6 percent.

If it turns out the percentages end up the same or that there are fewer capless players in this year's Heritage set then, oh well, at least we relived the '80s for 5 minutes. That's not a bad thing).