Thursday, January 6, 2011
There are degrees of "worst"
It's crime: Character assassination
How to fix it: Wait a second. He'll close his mouth. Really. He will.
It's crime: Creating non-descript shapes can cause imaginations to run wild.
How to fix it: Turn the orange, gaseous-looking cloud into a parachute. How cool would it be for a parachute to be trailing Ramirez? I mean it worked for Metal in the late '90s.
It's crime: Lazy-ass laziness
How to fix it: Pick a different photo of Joba! Come on! Topps' main offices are in New York! How difficult can this be?
It's crime: Boring-ass boring.
How to fix it: Um, I don't know. Like have the players DO something?
It's crime: Bugs and celebrities don't belong in a baseball card set.
How to fix it: If you're going to put Megan Fox in a card set, go all-out. I'll let you decide what "all-out" means.
It's crime: Creating a nightmarish prison scenario that runs in a continuous loop in collectors' heads.
How to fix it: Make the @&#% card VERTICAL! VERTICAL! NOT HORIZONTAL!
Congrats, to Lance Berkman, Mike Hampton and Photo Day "Fun". This card is officially, without question, the worst card of 2010.
May we never speak of this year ... or this card ... again.
Thanks for voting.