Friday, January 21, 2011

The most horrifying team card ever


Perhaps no other team card has been more anticipated in the history of my collecting existence than this one.

This card sat on my Nebulous 9 virtually since the day that I started the list. It was starting to tick me off.

But if you take a look at the list now, it's only eight cards strong, because I now have the 2008 Heritage Dodgers team card. The ever generous Max sent it to me, and it arrived today.

It's truly a day worth celebrating. People don't want to give up their 2008 Heritage short-prints. It's difficult enough to obtain one short-print from '08 Heritage, but when you need two of the same short-print, like I did with this card (one for the set and one for the team set), it can take years to find.

I know it's a lowly team card, but there are a couple of interesting things about it, other than recalling the bad old days of Grady Little, Jeff Kent and Derek Lowe.


First, please note one of the last appearances of Eddie Murray as a Dodger. He was the hitting coach for L.A. until he got the ax in June of 2007. So, Murray was no longer a part of the team when this card came out. I don't know who is seated next to him. Dan Warthen, maybe? Nice shades, though.


This concerned me momentarily. It appeared as if Topps photoshopped Takashi Saito's left arm out of the picture. But I see now that there is a small portion of Saito's arm headed behind his back.

At any rate, studying Saito's left arm led me to this:


Look at the player immediately to Saito's right.

WHERE IS THE REST OF HIM??!!!! His upper torso just vanishes into yellow nothingness!!!!!

That is absolutely creepy.

But that's not all. Move over to the left of the same card:


Is that Derek Lowe at the top center?? I don't know for sure, but one thing is certain -- HALF OF HIS BODY HAS BEEN EATEN BY YELLOW SLIME!!!!! The HORROR!!!!!


These two unknown Dodgers are not bleeding Dodger blue! They're bleeding Dodger YELLOW! Get them to a hospital!!!!!!!

I know what you're thinking.

Night Owl is freaking out again. Obviously, Topps is creating a homage to the 1959 Topps set in which the team cards featured the same sort of thing. It's a tribute. It's quaint. Relax. Get the hyper owl some alcohol.

OK, how do you explain this?


See any players ending at mid-torso on this card?

That's the actual 1959 Topps Dodgers team card. Every member of the picture appears to have a lower half to their body. There is nobody oozing a pool of radioactive yellow blood. Nothing to haunt my dreams.

Now that's craftsmanship.

No fences in the photo either.

Thanks for the Heritage card, Max. I'm grateful.

Freaked out and grateful.

6 comments:

  1. What I want to know is what's
    Topps hidding under that Dodger's banner?

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  2. Do you think they cropped some different head shots into the team photo, maybe to replace players that were long gone (doubtful) or they didn't have the rights to (plausible)? Or was it simply a case of bad "yellow fill" in whatever graphics program they use to design cards (more than plausible)?

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  3. For some reason this doesn't surprise me at all. If someone else hadn't already registered the toppssucks.com domain, I think I would have done it and compiled all of these various Topps posts and stories in one place.

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  4. I know how it is trying to get Heritage SPs for the team set. I have had the 2007 Heritage Red Sox Team card on my Top 10 List since I created it.

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  5. I'm guessing the unknown Dodgers are Jason Schmidt and Jayson Werth though you could easily argue that Schmidt was an unknown during his entire Dodgers tenure.

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  6. I'm pretty sure that the 08 Heritage Orioles team picture had players who weren't in the original team photo, which had been a SGA. I can't find my copy of this card, but here's a link. http://www.checkoutmycards.com/Cards/Baseball/2008/Topps_Heritage/48/Baltimore_Orioles
    There are three players in the back row who weren't actually in the picture: the guy third from the left, Paul Shuey who is seventh from the left, and Jay Gibbons second from the right. It looks like Gibbons is legless after being swallowed by the yellow blob too.

    ReplyDelete