Death sentence

In yet another depressing proof of the theory that the "masses are asses," this card was selected as one of Topps' 60 best of all-time.

Shame, shame, collectors. We've been played again.

I know that Topps can be blamed for much of this. It deemed only 100 of its cards as the best of all-time, and a respectable chunk of those cards were dismissible junk.

But apparently many collectors did not read the rules of the voting.

These 60 cards that are determined the best of all-time by your votes are to be randomly inserted into this year's base set.

Aaarrrrghhhh! What have we done? We could have voted for all those '50s and '60s cards! Throw in some key '70s cards and there were close to 60 cards that anybody would be happy to pull out of a pack of 2011 cards.

Instead, collectors voted the 1989 Randy Johnson card as the 54th best card of all-time.

And for your excellence in voting, you will be rewarded. Topps will vomit thousands of Randy Johnson cards into its 2011 packs. How many 1989 Johnson cards do you think Topps owns? I think I know the answer. Infinite.

Nice going.

Collectors like me, who can't afford to buy box after box of 2011 product, will trudge to the store to grab a few packs, and end up with a few more Randy Johnsons to throw onto the pile of Randy Johnsons they picked up in 1989. And the second pile of Randy Johnsons they picked up in repacks over the last two decades. I'm certain that the Johnson card will appear at a ratio of 9,000 to every one 1956 Ted Williams card that shows up in 2011 packs.

And that's probably why Topps did a little party dance when Johnson appeared as one of the voted 60 best. I'm sure someone at the party uttered the word "suckers," and then immediately ducked into the printing press area and ordered up another 500,000 '89 Johnson cards.

Of course the thought of that makes me think that maybe the voting was rigged. Maybe collectors really aren't stupid enough not to realize that they're going to get buried by '89 Randy Johnsons if they vote for that card. I know I voted and I stayed clear of that card and just about everything from the 1980s. I couldn't have been the only one. Maybe no one voted for that card. After all, what's to stop Topps from saying, "Here's the top 60 that YOU voted on" if they don't show the voting tallies? It would certainly keep them from hunting down all those '50s cards.

I have no proof that this happened, but I do have a semi-active imagination.

All I know is we are resigned to pulling '89 Randy Johnson cards from packs this year, and I have already discussed what I would do if I pulled that card.

My scissors are sharpened and ready. I have several other sharp objects prepared, too. The results will be displayed here. I am 100 percent sure that I'm pulling one of those babies. And it will be time to exercise some population control.

But first, I'll allow one last chance for someone to plead for the life of the poor 1989 Randy Johnson card.

Any pleas? Anyone?

I'm waiting.

...

I didn't think so.