My intent was to pick my fantasy team of 1989 players, find a comparable 2010 player, and then use those comparable players on my team. Well, finding comparable players is a long and excruciating task. I got through all of one-and-a-half players and gave up, beating myself up for the 45 minutes that I had wasted.
So, Dan Plesac, you will never find out how you would do as Matt Capps. And Alejandro Pena, you will never know whether your most comparable 2010 pitcher is Rafael Soriano, because I quit in disgust while going through the Minnesota Twins roster.
That means all you're going to see is what kind of a fantasy team I could form out of the 39 cards from the cello pack that madding sent me. And that's good enough, really. Say it is. You'll make me feel better.
All right, according to the rules, I needed to find two catchers, an entire infield and an outfield, a corner dude and a middle dude, an extra outfielder, a utility guy and seven pitchers. Twenty players.
I did pretty well in some areas, and not so well in others.
I'll start with the pitchers. A whopping 23 of the 39 cards were pitchers, by the way.
The starting staff features a Dodger and an ex-Dodger:
That is a damn fine pitching staff. But it's not as good as my infield.
Oh, yes it will. Here come the weak links.
First the outfield.
Here is the other catcher ...
OK, onto less depressing areas. The bench. It's respectable.
My manager is Tom Trebelhorn, only because the other option was Doc Edwards.
So this is the starting lineup. Very top-heavy:
2B Roberto Alomar
SS Ozzie Smith
3B George Brett
1B Andres Galarraga
RF Chili Davis
LF Greg Gross
CF Ken Williams
C Ed Hearn
And the pitchers:
Starters: Orel Hershiser, Bob Welch, Doyle Alexander, Terry Mulholland
Relievers: Charlie Hough, Dan Plesac, Alejandro Pena
Kelly Gruber, Jeff Blauser, Dave Anderson, Scott Lusader, Rafael Belliard
Perhaps at the end of the summer, I'll total up the team's 1989 stats in each of the fantasy team categories and see how it would have done in the 2010 Heritage blaster league. But I'm not totaling it now because I'd have to calculate on-base percentage and earned-run average and it's a holiday weekend and I've got relatives coming in and they'd be wondering why I'm calculating OBP -- OK, they'd be wondering what OBP is -- when I should be paying attention to them.
So later. Much later.
That's the team. I won't tell it to win like it's 1989, because they're not going to be competing for anything.
And that means I can ask:
Is there anyone left on earth that needs some 1989 cards?