Monday, March 3, 2014

Blog of the year 3-peat


His majesty, King Night Owl I, having been proclaimed Blog Of The Year for a third time, hereby recognizes on this third day of the third month, the glory bestowed upon his kingdom in the form of cards presented by contest operator Jaybarkerfan's Junk.

Let it be recorded that these cards are hereby declared spoils of a rightful and just third straight victory, and while it has come to His Majesty's attention that other non-Blog Of The Year persons have received similar stacks of cards of less-royal variety, be it known that these are the true rewards for having composed royal words upon a royal blog.

 Let it also be known that the following stack arrived at the royal palace:



Upon His Majesty's command, His Majesty's royal slaves examined, handled and even consumed portions of the card stack to ensure that no attempt had been made to poison His Majesty or overthrow the throne.

His Majesty is greatly pleased to pronounce that only six royal slaves succumbed in the royal vetting of said card stack and only four more lost hands by guillotine for not properly removing 1990 Donruss.

Also, the scurrilous surf who attempted to claim that this card arrived in the stack ...


... has been sent to the gallows for his impudent stream of lies.

Having suitably trimmed the stack to proportions of His Majesty's pleasing, herewith are now the top 10 cards to emerge from the royal Blog Of The Year, Part 3 package.

(*Cue royal trumpeter*)


Ten



Pronouncing: 1988 Pacific Jackie Robinson

All rise!

His Majesty sees an ample crease in this card, and although it will remain on his royal want list, it is a royal need and will fill the royal binder on this day.


Nine


Pronouncing: A trio of 1992 Classic II cards, Ramon Martinez, Eric Davis and Darryl Strawberry.

All rise!

His Majesty recognizes three cards in one spot having never before observed these cards in his kingdom.


Eight


Pronouncing: 1999 Pacific Collection Bobby Bonilla

All rise!

His Hajesty recognizes Bobby Bonilla's bat flip, but not Bonilla himself for he was a wretched performer as a Dodger.


Seven


Pronouncing: 1992 Pinnacle Team 2000 Eric Karros

All rise!

His Majesty declares the 1992 Team 2000 Dodger team set complete! His Majesty also decrees that the royal scanner be thrown into the eternal pit of fire for diminishing the Team 2000 golden shine.


Six


Pronouncing: 1988 Score Traded Jay Howell

All rise!

His Majesty is suddenly struck with the fear that this card is already in the kingdom because the wretched servant who researched these cards looked under the 1990 Score Traded column instead of the 1988 Score Traded column. He no longer has fingers.


Five


Pronouncing: 1997 Studio Mike Piazza

All rise!

His Majesty withdraws his edict to banish all mention of 1997 Studio as scandalous lies because his own eyes has finally observed a 1997 Studio in his kingdom.


Four


Pronouncing: 1998 Topps Chrome Hideo Nomo

All rise!

His Majesty recognizes the 407th Hideo Nomo card to enter the kingdom. His Majesty is not jealous of Nomo's great number nor concerned that he will become a threat to the throne. But His Majesty has royal guards for a reason.


Three


Pronouncing: 1994 Bowman Paul LoDuca

All rise!

His Majesty declares his amazement that there is a card of LoDuca as early as 1994. Who is responsible for withholding this information from the kingdom? WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?


Two


Pronouncing: 1994 Fleer Superstar Specials Mike Piazza and Eric Karros

All rise!

His Majesty recognizes the uncontrollable urge to depict Piazza and Karros' friendship on cardboard during the mid-1990s and is not alarmed by it, but hereby declares that the woman in the background has no chance.


One


Pronouncing: 1993 Ballstreet Sandy Koufax

All rise!

His Majesty, having recognized the greatness of Koufax many times in the past, hereby decrees this as the greatest card in the Blog Of The Year package. He also decrees that the card back may be even greater as it attempts to explain -- twice -- that this card is not a trading card. His Majesty laughs heartily.

His Majesty also declares the arrival of duplicates of Ted Williams Company pog cards as great fun and much more humorous than the royal jester:





His Majesty declares his thanks to Wes of Jaybarkerfan's Junk for presenting this generous gift upon the kingdom. And His Majesty, having been honored in such a way for a third straight year, recognizes his royal subjects for their generosity, too.

I hereby recognize being Blog of the Year for another 365 days and encourage others in the kingdom to recognize likewise or else be horsewhipped.

So it is written, so it is done.

11 comments:

  1. I am now officially tired after sitting and rising 10 times.

    Congrats on the title, oh royal one. Long live the king!

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  2. Let it be known that it is very difficult for us common subjects to reach the keyboard whilst bowed down upon one knee giving respect and honor to you my lord.

    Also, keep an eye on thy Royal Mail as #9 of the "Nebulous 9" was placed in a PWP (plain white papyrus) and sent by special courier to seek sanction within the walls of the Kingdom of Night Owl the Great !

    I do recognize you as the King but I must share some of today's glory with the Queen of my castle as it is her Royal Birthday, although I darest not reveal how many candles were on the Red Velvet cake.

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  3. (sits in corner, plotting overthrow of this scandalous and retched monarchy).

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  4. Long live the king. #awesomesauce

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  5. I really think that the package should have included a card of Jackie Robinson as a Monarch- but that's just my opinion. And...congrats. As Mel Brooks would say, "It's good to be the king."

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  6. I was all ready to "hail the king" when I saw Alyssa over there. All Hail the Queen!

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  7. Cor, blimey! Gone straight to his 'ead, it has. I'll not be voting for for this one next year...

    (That was reaction #1. Reaction #2 is as follows)

    Arise, Sir Loin of Beef! Arise, Sir Milk of Magnesia!

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  8. I bow before thy king as I repeat over and over... I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

    ReplyDelete