OK, when I left for work last night, I was feeling a mild acetaminophen buzz (sinus issues), content with the Dodgers' path to the postseason: don't break any waves, pick up a nobody here and a nobody there, just get to the playoffs.I had been doing a good job of ignoring their back-of-the-rotation issues and the offense's periodic pitfalls.
Then, during one of the two minutes I have free at work, near the end of my shift, a split second before all hell breaks loose, I click on MLB Trade Rumors. And there it is: "Dodgers Acquire Jim Thome."
"That's funny," I thought, "I have this dream all the time." And I do: the Dodgers acquire one of my favorite non-Dodgers ever. But, you know, I wake up and I go on with my regular rat-infested, Thome-ain't-a-Dodger life.
But this wasn't a dream. I know that, because a minute later, I find the time to click on the site again, just to make sure. Only this time, not only is the "Dodgers Acquire Jim Thome" still there, but there is a new heading that says, "Dodgers Acquire Jon Garland."
By now, someone is babbling in my ear, "this story is ready to cut on C3" or "the U.S. Open story is short," or something. I don't actually know, because all I can think is: Brain. Can't. Process. Brain. Go. Boom!And now it's official -- announced by the Dodgers in the eighth inning of their game. I can't believe it. Ned Colletti just pulverized everyone in the NL West. The Rockies get Jose Contreras, the Giants get Brad Penny, and the Dodgers get Jim Thome AND Jon Garland. And so far they've only given up a minor prospect and a player to be named. Colletti, you magnificent bastard!
I know what you're thinking: "Where is Thome going to play? He's a DH." I don't care. It's Jim freakin' Thome! Do you know how many years I've wanted this guy on my team?
Garland isn't all that impressive, but I know the Dodgers' rotation. They need assistance. That's what Garland is good for, assistance.
But Thome! That is so COOL!
And you wondered why I hadn't written about Ronnie Belliard yet. See? I knew.
Comments
But, can it push them over the top and get them past the Phillies or Cardinals?
Just sayin'. On the upside, my Reds swept the Pirates in a doubleheader with approximately 2,000 people in attendance. Woo.