82 years of this

Today is Tom Lasorda's 82nd birthday.

I don't think there is a single baseball figure in history that I am more conflicted over than Tom Lasorda. On one hand, he is possibly baseball's greatest ambassador, someone who has an endless love for the game and an ability to express that love like no other. He is also the Dodgers' greatest ambassador, someone who should have retired to the shadows long ago, but remains a very visible part of the organization. And he is a genuine quote machine, which is worthy of a standing ovation in my profession.

On the other hand, he drove me stark-raving ballistic with some of his managerial decisions, especially his pitching moves, which always puzzled me because he was a professional pitcher. His Vegas-style schtick was embarrassing, and I could tell when he managed the Dodgers that other teams were laughing at all the hugging of players and endless discussion of "the Big Dodger in the Sky." And his talk of God, family and country, while admirable in itself, bothered me in light of the profane person that I knew that he could be and the issues he's had with his family. I know many fans, back when Lasorda led the Dodgers to the postseason almost every year, considered Lasorda's act and his clean-shaven players (re: Steve Garvey) phony.

I would never go as far as to call Lasorda phony. Insincere at times? Yep. But he seems to believe just about everything he says. Even if it seems he's in denial. And I can never turn away from someone who leads the U.S. to an Olympic gold medal or the Dodgers to a World Series title. He is the link to the Dodgers' last great era and I can't argue with that either. Plus, I absolutely loved his commercials during the MLB postseason in 2006.

So instead of dwelling on 1985 and 1983 and 1978, I'll repeat some of my favorite quotes from Lasorda. They're slightly -- just slightly -- more clever than the "I'm on a seafood diet ..." variety.

-- "Darryl Strawberry is not a dog. A dog is loyal and runs after balls."

-- "I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team are Italians."

-- "If (Mike Scioscia) raced his pregnant wife, he'd finish third."

-- "(Kurt Bevacqua) couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat."

Of course, there is his most famous tirade. Not meant for the kids. The thing that strikes me about the Dave Kingman question is it may have produced the calmest profanity-laced tirade I have ever heard. It seems so routine. He even apparently says, "See you, Joe" in the middle of cursing.

All in all, good stuff. Happy birthday, Tommy. You're one of a kind.

I may not agree with you every time, but I hope you live to be 100.