Play ball! (2020)

Hey, guys, remember this? Opening Day? Baseball? Sitting in front of the TV for five hours?

Oh, how I missed it.

I know, I know, it's not the same. Part of me is wondering why -- since MLB has gone ahead with youth league staples like the universal DH and starting a runner on second in extra innings -- don't we just add a tee at the plate and go full T-ball rules? After all, the crowds will be about the same for this year's games as a typical T-ball game.

But I won't let the modifications ruin it for me. I am overlooking A LOT in order to be happy that Major League Baseball returns to my TV tonight. It takes the most optimistic Baltimore Orioles fan in spring training to believe we're going to get through this entire season and postseason intact, but this is what baseball fans do.

Reality is for those super-serious, no-fun, stick-up-their-butts. Baseball, and sports in general, is for fans who know fun when they see it and want to be a part of it.

That's why I watch sports, why I collect and why I have goofy little Opening Day traditions like this one! And no late July start date, or 60-game schedule, or Little League rules are going to stop me.

Here we go:


The last time the NATIONALS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the RED SOX won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the ASTROS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the CUBS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the ROYALS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the GIANTS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the CARDINALS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the YANKEES won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the PHILLIES won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the WHITE SOX won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the MARLINS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the ANGELS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the DIAMONDBACKS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the BRAVES won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the BLUE JAYS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the TWINS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the REDS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the A'S won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the DODGERS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the METS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the TIGERS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the ORIOLES won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the PIRATES won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the INDIANS won the World Series, cards looked like this:

The last time the BREWERS, MARINERS, PADRES, RANGERS, RAYS, ROCKIES won the World Series, cards looked like this:

If you didn't notice, the miserable seven who haven't won a World Series is now down to six with the Nationals' championship.

OK, everyone, I hope you still remember how to do this.

It's time to WATCH BASEBALL.

And no moaning!

Well, OK, you can moan. But do it during the commercials.