12 angry men: early '80s Fleer edition

1. Dennis Eckersley

Reason: Ladyfriend asked to borrow his Joan Jett album. Said she'd give it back.

2. Dwight Evans

Reason: Beautiful women can too both weld and strip.

3. Paul Moskau

Reason: Just because hamburgers are square doesn't mean they're old-fashioned.

4. Jose Oquendo

Reason: Went to 14 different toy stores, not a single Cabbage Patch Kid or Care Bear.

5. Greg Minton

Reason: WHAT did that asshole just say?

6. Carlton Fisk

Reason: If that kid with the boom box walks past my house one more time ... 

7. Dave McKay

Reason: You have to eat like 70 of those Chicken Nuggets to feel full.

8. Pat Sheridan

Reason: Hey, did you just make fun of my Moonwalk?

9. Andre Dawson

Reason: Expos won't let him play the part of B.A. Baracus on the A-Team.

10. Warren Brusstar

Reason: Just punched someone who said "Cannonball Run" was stupid.

11. Gorman Thomas

Reason: The body wasn't supposed to wash up on shore.

12. Davey Lopes

Reason: Dammit! I AM smiling!


OK, some of these guys look merely perturbed. But there is no "12 Perturbed Men".