You don't know me at all

I think cards that replicate magazine covers is one of the best ideas that ever happened to cardboard.

I'm not afraid to say that I was coming up with that idea when I was a youngster in the late 1970s. Blending my love for cards, drawing and reading, I would try to replicate magazine covers -- mostly Ranger Rick -- on index cards.

But it took national card companies until the late 1990s, when Fleer and Sports Illustrated knocked heads, for that idea to appear as I dreamt it.

Those late '90s cards that pay tribute to Sports Illustrated covers of the past are fantastic, and I just ordered a couple of the Dodger-centric ones that you'll see when they arrive. Believe me, it took all of my self-control not to order a bunch more.

Since that time, there have been a few other "cover cards," most notably from the ESPN set of about a decade ago. A few days ago, I saw this Eric Gagne ESPN cover card during one of my online searches and I instantly had to have it. What a great card.

I ordered it off ebay and it arrived promptly. And I love it for all the reasons that a Dodger fan who interviewed Gagne and who loves magazines would love a card.

Now, as you know, often when you purchase cards online, the seller will add a card or two as a throw-in. It's a nice gesture and I like to think that it signifies that the seller is a collector, too. I know if I sold cards online, I'd do the same thing.

But the throw-in is an interesting beast. I don't expect anything at all from throw-in cards. It can be 1991 Donruss for all I care, but it's intriguing if the seller throws in a card that is tailored toward the buyer's collection. Sure, the seller probably doesn't know the buyer, but there are some clues after all.

Based on the card I ordered, the seller could have thrown in another magazine type card or a random Gagne card or a Dodger card. Nothing with any value, mind you, just something that shows that you're thinking.

Unfortunately, the throw-in that I received didn't match any of those categories.

Here it is:

You trying to kill me sending that thing?

Let's review all the ways that this card does not fit into my collection:

1. It's a Yankee. If I could eradicate all of the Yankees from my collection, I would.
2. It's Mark Teixeira. See above. Except eradicating Teixeira cards actually might become a reality in the future.
3. It's Panini. I have never made a Panini set a collecting objective ever.
4. It's one of those Studio type cards. They don't get more cheesy than that.

In other words, the seller missed his target by about 4,000 miles.

But let me stress, this is not his fault. He hasn't had any prior contact with me and doesn't know what I collect. It was a simple gesture that I appreciate.

But wow, man.

You really don't know me at all.

Now, where's the lighter?