The opposite of going to a card show

I was supposed to be at a card show today. But for this show the weather likes to play tricks on me. Throw in a cash shortage, and I'm home instead with nothing exciting going on at all.

So I thought it'd be appropriate to open a pack of 1991 Donruss Series 2, supplied by Padrographs. It's the opposite of going to a card show.

Well ... the real opposite of going to a card show is probably sitting in a dentist's chair, or getting mauled by a rabid possum. But staying within the hobby realm, I think opening an obscenely overproduced pack of unattractive cards is a long way from visiting table after table of vintage.

In terms of Donruss from the junk wax era, 1991 sits near the bottom for me. I've dubbed it the "Fisher Price set" more than once (although it hasn't officially received a Define the Design name yet). It just looks like something that would come with little kids' plastic/wooden toys. I can see one card of '91 Donruss encased in bubble plastic, along with one of those little people -- maybe the bald guy with the green body -- and a yellow tractor, hanging on a display in the toy department.

I hate it when I see cards in the toy department.

Anyway, before I get to the cards everyone has seen before, here is my ranking of junk wax Donruss. For posterity.

1. 1989 - Already confessed that I have a grudging admiration for this set. (No, I'm not collecting it)
2. 1988 - Growing to like the Tron set more and more (No, I'm not collecting this either)
3. 1993 - Merely meh. But during this era, that's a good thing.
4. 1987 - Don't get why people get so excited over this set. Rookies, probably. Whoopee.
5. 1990 - The red borders drown out the photos.
6. 1991 - I'm sure if I was 6, I'd love these cards.
7. 1992 - I have an irrational hatred for '92 Donruss. It almost makes me ill. One day I will explore this in-depth.

OK, on with the cards.

Willie Stargell puzzle piece. Already, I've been ripped off. Each pack is supposed to contain three puzzle pieces. I got one. Of Stargell's knees.

#634 - Jerry Willard, White Sox

Nice catcher photo. Willard gets a card despite all of 3 major league at-bats in the preceding three years.

#628 - Ron Oester, Reds

Key card a year after the Reds won the World Series.

#622 - Johnny Ray, Angels

Steve Sax is still better, Pirates fans.

#616 - Dave Clark, Cubs

#663 - Rance Mulliniks, Blue Jays

Real first name is Steve.

#657 - Dennis Cook, Dodgers

Dodger alert! Obviously, I have several of this card. It's also a future night card. Cook is quite zombie-esque.

#651 - Gene Harris, Mariners

#645 - Bob Welch, A's

Nice pull for '91, coming off his 27-6 Cy Young season. I'm still in denial about Welch doing so well after leaving the Dodgers.

#422 - Scott Aldred, Tigers

More evidence that Rated Rookies were often hype without substance. A little bit of Bowman inside Donruss.

#636 - Bob MacDonald, Blue Jays

#630 - Kevin Bass, Giants

I think Kevin Bass was the Carlos Lee of the junk wax era for me. A Bass in every other pack.

#624 - Joe Bitker, Rangers

#618 - Jack Clark, Padres

Second Clark in the pack. This one much more hated.

#400 - Roberto Kelly, Yankees, MVP

Yankees finished last in 1990. That sounds like the kind of team in which Kelly would be the best player.

#BC18 - Eddie Murray, Dodgers, Highlights

If this was 1991, I'd be very happy with this pack, as this was an insert and a Dodger. A much-loved Dodger at this particular time. But, alas, I probably have 5 or 6 of this card.

That's all 15 cards. Wasn't that .... uh ... funnish?

Did anyone ever pull a Ryne Sandberg autographed card that was advertised on the wrappers?

Anyway, if anyone needs any of these cards ... you are sad, sad, people.

Just kidding.

It's just that I missed a card show today.