Trade. Cards. Deal.

I've finally reached the portion of my trading backlog where I address the massive collection of goodies sent by Smed during his spring cleaning fiesta.

I've paid the postage, and started looking for some cards to send in return, but unfortunately, there's no time for anything else. Normally, with a collection of cards like this, I'd do a What's the Best Card in the Package post and force you to view the whole thing until your eyes bled and you were humming '70s commercials for the next two months.

I can't do that this week.

So, instead, I'm merely splitting the cards into two different posts. The first post is my 12 favorite Dodgers cards from the package. The second post -- who knows when you'll see that. There won't be anything too creative with either of these posts. It's a trade. Here are some cards. Deal with it.

Oh, and thanks, Smed.

Commence countdown:

12. 2010 Bowman Draft Leon Landry gold parallel: "Neon Leon" is scuffling through Class A ball with the Dodgers this season. Hopefully, he'll get things turned around. One day, I'd like to see him with the Dodgers making catches like this:

11. 2003 Victory Kazuhisa Ishii green parallel: I don't mean to bag on cards that are used to play a game. I've  played games with cards, too. I just wish these kinds of cards looked better. I know these game cards are meant to be thrown around, etc., and looks aren't the point. But to me they are. I approach cards as a collector, that's how I think.

10. 2011 Topps Walmart black and Target throwback Vicente Padilla: OK, this is two cards. But my countdown doesn't care. Padilla is undergoing neck surgery this week and is probably lost for the season. Maybe if he began the season as a starter, he wouldn't have suffered from the Dodgers bullpen jinx.

9. 2008 Upper Deck Documentary postseason edition, NLCS Game 3, Nomar Garciaparra, can I add any more description for this particular card: It was only three years ago, but I am having trouble remembering that Nomar Garciaparra was part of that 2008 playoff team. And how about Upper Deck? Sneaking playoff Documentary in the 2009 set? I can handle only one card companies' gimmicks at a time.

8. 2011 Bowman Clayton Kershaw: Clayton needs to go nine tonight.

7. 2002 Donruss Diamond Kings Hideo Nomo: I am happy that Donruss let others besides Dick Perez get in on the Diamond King action. Perez's stuff makes me wince.

6. 2006 Fleer Hong-Chih Kuo, some sort of sepia parallel: I have never seen these before. Smed sent me the Garciaparra sepia card, too.

When Kuo comes back, I think the Dodgers should work out a way so that he pitches only against the Mets.

5. 2011 Bowman John Lindsey international parallel: Combining maps and baseball cards for me is like combining pro wrestling/comic books and baseball cards for other collectors. I never got into pro wrestling, I barely got into comic books. But maps? I hesitate to say how many maps I looked at as a kid.

Plus, it's just plain cool to get another card of John Lindsey.

4. 2011 Gypsy Queen Matt Kemp, regular back mini: Gypsy Queen lasted about a month at my Target. It's nowhere to be seen now. If it was a product I liked, this would be my 14th post on "where my GQ, Topps really sucks."

But my favorite part of GQ cards (aside from those framed parallels) is probably the way the backs feel. This will seem totally strange to you, but they remind me of those rubbery mixing utensils that my mom used to mix cake batter. When I was a tot, I would chew on them. I know, I know, the cards are cardboard, not plasticy rubber. My brain doesn't know the difference though.

Don't worry, I haven't chewed any GQ yet.

3. 2004 Topps Cracker Jack Paul Lo Duca jersey relic: Every relic card I have of Lo Duca is smaller than standard card size. Is that a commentary of some sort? Is this why Lo Duca was dipping into the HGH? Is Topps responsible in the way that ESPN is kind of responsible for all the LeBron hating?

2. 2011 Topps Andre Ethier "throwback" manufactured patch card: Andre Ethier was minus 41 years old in 1941. Just thought I'd mention that.

1. 2005 Topps Updates & Highlights Matt Kemp: Why is this No. 1? Well, first, Kemp is very close to having a triple crown season. And if Jose Reyes gets traded to the American League, watch out.

But mostly it's because I already have the chrome and gold parallel versions of this Kemp rookie card. It's a criminal act that it took so long for me to land the regular old version.

Some mighty fine cards, and that was a very small smattering of the Dodgers, not even a fifth of the Dodgers that I didn't already have.

But I'll move on to a different topic the next time I address cards from smed. Just give me some ... there's that word again ... time.