I am slow

I'm not a movie person. I used to be. But I haven't been for years. When someone references Kick-Ass or Ironman2 or Shrek 46, I feel fortunate to know they are movie titles.

I watch very little television, which explains my inability to decipher movie references. If it's on a commercial that doesn't appear with a baseball game, chances are I'm clueless.

My deficiency in this area first came to light about 10 years ago, when younger people at work began to reference movie lines with disturbing regularity, and I had no idea what they were citing. Thank goodness I did see "Office Space," or I would've missed out on half the conversations of the last 10 years.

This disinterest in movies and television means I am slow in a lot of pop-culture areas. And it's rather drastic.

For example, I just acquainted myself with iTunes the other day.

That is an embarrassing admission, given that it's been around for almost a decade and that I have a major obsession with music. But a guy who first knew turntables and 45s and then LPs and then cassette tapes and then compact discs gets a little tired of changes and just wants things to SLOW DOWN.

Still, I got on iTunes. The Heartless Bastards made me do it. I freakin' love that band. Erika Wennerstrom. Damn! Best voice ever.

I thought I was being cool. Until I figured out the Heartless Bastards were soooo 2006. Slow again.

I know what you're saying.

"Wait a minute, night owl. You have a blog. That's sort of the thing to do, right?"

Well, no. Again if it was like 2004, then OK. But I read a little while ago that blogging was becoming an "old person's" activity. So, it's not exactly hip. And neither is saying, "hip."

"But night owl! You're on the twitter!"

Yes, yes, I am. I still haven't figured out what the hell it's for. The contests have disappeared, which is the main reason I was there. But the only other things I can see it being good for is the periodic vent at work and advertising a blog post -- which is growing very old, frankly. I'm still looking for the substance. It must be there. I just haven't found it. Like I said, I'm slow.

And there's the cell phone. I rarely make a call. Haven't texted once. Going online on it is frustrating. I'm slow, slow, slow.

"But night owl! What the hell does this have to do with baseball cards?"

Ah, my impatient, ADD-riddled reader, don't you worry yourself.

I was at Target and Wal-Mart today. Still no Chicle. I think about 46 blogs that I follow have posted on Chicle already. Many multiple times.

There's certainly no Bowman. Not that I want any.

And now there's news of Series 2. Release date May 26. That is about the most irrelevant fact that I have read in the last day. Release dates mean nothing here.

There's nothing at the card shop either. In response, I grabbed 5 more packs of  2002 Topps Gallery. I didn't pull anything as cool as a Maddux jersey this time.

This Heritage Chipper painting was the best pull. That's 1:12 instead of the Maddux 1:85. Still nice. Even though it's another Brave.

Now, if I wasn't "slow," all of this card nonsense might irritate me to an irrational state. It does irk me a little, but I am used to playing catch up when it comes to the latest and greatest. I have to work a little bit harder for my blog posts, but that's OK. "It builds character," as my high school math teacher used to say.

But because I still NEED cards, I ended up at the dollar store.

There wasn't much there, baseball-wise. I found five purchasable bags. Total cost: $2.50.

One particular bag was an '80s jackpot. I have most of the cards already, but it was impressive regardless.

There's the baggie. You can see Will Clark on display behind the 2/1.00 tag. I still bought it despite Mr. Clark.

There were 34 cards in the bag. Three of them were NBA cards, of which I have zero interest. The rest was awesome. Here are the contents:

1. Will Clark, 1989 Fleer All-Star

2. Roberto Alomar, 1991 O-Pee-Chee Premier
3. Tony Perez, 1980 Topps
4. Rod Carew, 1981 Donruss

5. Carl Yastrzemski, 1980 Topps

6. Enos Cabell, 1980 Topps
7. Tug McGraw, 1980 Topps
8. Jorge Bell, 1982 Topps (rookie card)

9. Carlton Fisk, 1981 Donruss (needed this one)

10. Bill Russell, 1980 Topps
11. Bud Harrelson, 1980 Topps
12. Braves future stars, 1980 Topps
13. Willie Stargell, 1980 Topps
14. Red Sox team, 1980 Topps
15. Garry Maddox, 1980 Topps
16. NBA: Anthony Bowie, 1992-93 Topps
17. NBA: Willie Anderson, 1992-93 Topps
18. NBA: David Benoit, 1992-93 Topps
19. Jim Rice, 1983 Topps

20. Yankees team, 1981 Topps

21. Dennis Eckersley, 1983 Topps
22. Jim Rice, 1982 Donruss
23. Ed Kranepool, 1980 Topps
24. John Mayberry, 1980 Topps
25. Phil Garner, 1981 Topps
26. Garry Templeton, 1980 Topps highlights
27. Dynamic Duo, Bench & Seaver, 1982 Fleer
28. Andre Dawson, 1982 Topps

29. Dale Murphy, 1983 Topps All-Star

30. Jack Morris, 1982 Topps All-Star
31. Gene Tenace, 1980 Topps
32. Tommy John, 1980 Topps
33. John Olerud, 1990 Bowman (rookie)
34. Jody Reed future star, 1988 TCMA International League

To recap: 10 cards of Hall of Famers, four cards of possible future Hall of Famers, two rookie cards and several other notable players of the 1980s. Why, it's a "hot baggie"!

That is some kind of "pack" for 50 cents.

I may be slow, but I'm quick enough to know a deal when I see one.