Thwarting a fiendish plot

I received an interesting email several weeks ago. It was from the writer of a card blog that I hadn't heard of at the time. The email was rather ominous. It said something like this:

"I have some Dodgers for you. Send me your address or it's off to the firepit with them."

FIREPIT? Wha? ... huh? ... why? .... but, but, but ..... WHOONEARTHWOULDEVENEVERTHINKOFSUCHATHING?

So I instantly emailed him back, saying that I would definitely rescue any unsuspecting Dodger cards from a fiery doom. And that he should seek counseling for coming up with such a dastardly plot (I actually didn't add that last sentence, but I don't think you could blame me if I did).

Then, after that exchange, nothing. No email. No package. Before long, I had resigned myself to the Dodger cards' fate. They were no more, I thought. Mere ashes, hovering through the polluted air. Oh well. I busily prepared a stack of Giants for burning in my backyard. You know, just to even the score.

But wait! A package did arrive. It was from Chris of Card Cluster. And it was remarkably smoke-free. I eagerly tore into the package to free my poor, frightened, quivering Dodger cards. And then I saw this:

What? A series of messages? Oh, I don't have time for this. What is this, a scavenger hunt in my mailbox? I'll just start from the back ...

Crap. He's on to me. I guess I'll go back to the front. But only because of the smiley face. I'm a sucker for a smiley face. OK, so the front started with "Nite Owl, when I first pulled this ..."

What?! What couldn't it be? Don't you know I have no patience? Why do you think I make all those trips to Wal-Mart instead of ordering online? Tell me! Tell me!

(By the way, I have no idea what the random numbers on the messages mean. Maybe it's some Crack-the-Code thing. I am very glad that dude cracked the Allen & Ginter code last year. I was so afraid that nobody would crack the code and then they would force random people to figure out the puzzle and that they would pick me and that somehow -- even though I suck at solving puzzles -- I would appear on a baseball card. And one of my many nightmares is that I would end up on a baseball card. I mean, that poor guy. Really, he wanted to appear on a baseball card? Really? A non-baseball player on a baseball card? Years from now, people will ask, who is this guy on this card? And someone will answer, "Oh, he figured out a code and his prize was he got to appear on a baseball card the next year. And this will be the response: "Oh." And everyone will move on. Banished to the commons bin forever).

OK, now we're getting somewhere. I don't consider any card package "overdue," but I had wondered what had happened after that alarming "firepit" email.

Oh, for crying out loud, you're killing me. Just tell me where the gold is man!

Well isn't that nice. But I'm a too little busy here for pleasantries ...

FINALLY! Let's see what we've got ...

WHAT? A scout card??? Didn't Chris see me rail against scout cards a month or so ago? I hate scout cards. I want baseball players on my cards. In other words, guys who play baseball! Baseball, I tell you ---

--- wait, he "worked with Russell Martin"? Hey, I've heard of this guy. He got Martin signed, as well as Wesley Wright, a pitcher who just got sent down by the Astros.

Well, that makes it kind of, uh, cool, in a, um, non-baseball-player-type way. Sort of. I think. I guess this will go in my Dodger binder. Reluctantly.

Then, I see this message from Chris ...

Thanks, Chris. I could've seen this note first, so I would've had an idea of what was coming.

Anyway, Chris also sent some Dodger cards. Not charred remains of Dodger cards, but real, live, pristine Dodger cards.

Here is a Dodger card of Paul Konerko. I love Konerko-as-a-Dodger cards. I received a couple others in a package that I'll feature later. I like to remember the days before L.A. thought Hee-Seop Choi was a good option at first base.

Here are three shiny 2007 chrome Dodgers that I didn't have yet.

And here are a slew of Dodgers from Upper Deck Series 2. This isn't even all of them. Thanks to these cards, I have now officially updated my Upper Deck Dodgers want list for not only Series 2, but for O-Pee-Chee and Goudey (still haven't gotten to Piece of History yet. Hmmm, I wonder why?)

Here is a 2009 Bowman card of James Loney. One of three Dodgers with more than 50 RBIs. But he's not going to the All-Star Game. A bunch of mashers in his way at first base. That's OK. None of them are on a team with the best record in baseball.

And lastly, we have the "discovered by Clarence Johns" Russell Martin! This is the second year in a row Martin is being shown on a card while involved in a play at the plate with a Pittsburgh Pirate. Last year it was Xavier Nady on a Stadium Club card. This year, it's Nyger Morgan on a Bowman card. Common thread? Both of those Pirates have been traded away.

There's your ticket out of Pittsburgh, boys. Get tagged at home by Russell Martin and you're on your way.

Chris, many thanks for an entertaining package. And if you need to keep that firepit going, let me know. I've still got that stack of Giants standing by.