We here at Topps/Fleer/Donruss/Upper Deck/Score/etc./etc. have the best interests of you, the player, at heart. (Rusty Staub, swinging and looking absolutely goofy).
Our mission is to serve you, the athlete. (Jerry Grote desperately attempting to run out a grounder).
With our fine fleet of photographers, we will cast you only in the best light (Jim Fregosi watching as his foul pop up is about to be caught).
You are the star of our show. We want to make you look as good as we possibly can. (Jim Wynn hitting one straight up in the air at Candlestick).
The kids look at you as heroes, so what purpose would it serve to make you look bad? (Bobby Murcer fouling one off or possibly swinging and missing).
You are the most talented players in the game. We want to showcase that talent (Len Randle yelling after taking a bad swing or maybe fouling one off his foot).
Rest assured, you are in capable hands (Lou Piniella nearly spinning completely around and saying something like "ooof" after an unsuccessful cut).
So relax. Smile for the camera. You have nothing to worry about (Dave Johnson whiffing as the ball sails past).
We would never, ever make you look silly (Rey Palacios performing Pilates at second base).
Sincerely,
Your trusted card company
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