Friday, July 13, 2012

A little birdie told me to write this

Some Orioles fans wanted me to show a card of their favorite team in the last Allen & Ginter post. ... OK, one Orioles fan did.

I didn't show it because, well, because it's an Orioles player. I don't think about the O's much. I think about them when I stray onto an Orioles card blog and when I talk to my brother, who is an Orioles fan and who I hassled because he was an Orioles fan. But that's about it.

I didn't show any Cubs, A's, Diamondbacks, White Sox or Marlins cards either, but, no, Commishbob tells me I've got to show the Orioles card.

Fine, here you are:

Adam Jones, wearing the retro Orioles logo cap.

I have no idea if he's wearing a cap in which the Oriole is also wearing an O's cap, or if it's a cap with just splotches of orange and white on it. I don't even know if I'm understanding the explanation by another O's fan -- Kevin -- correctly. Reading it was like trying to crack the Ginter code. You fans of teams and your marketing departments.

Here's another card of Adam Jones, wearing the retro Orioles logo cap. Is this an alternate cap? Is it the regular cap? Is it some special cap they only break out on Sundays? Is it a cap that's not really on Jones's head and Bowman photoshopped it on there? Am I really typing this?

Here is Adam Jones wearing what I think -- I think -- is last year's Orioles cap. Maybe they still break it out when fans are getting nostalgic over 2009. Every third Tuesday, let's say. The Orioles P.A. system announces next Tuesday will be "Remember when they were uncovering a new girlfriend of Tiger Woods every day?" night, and fans will run en masse to the memorabilia shop and buy up all the orinthologically-correct caps.

Here is Adam Jones wearing an orinthogically-correct Oriole helmet. And a whole bunch of Orioles fans just bought up all the Orinth-Cor Oriole helmets.

This is not Adam Jones. Or, at least, it's a different Adam Jones. He is not wearing an Orioles helmet. He is wearing a Titans helmet. I know even less about the Titans than I do the Orioles. I don't know if the Titans have more than one logo. I don't know if they wear different logos on Thursday nights. I don't know if the Titans logo is orinthologically correct.

So, let's move on.

Here is some Orioles prospect who is new to me. His name is Nick Delmonico. I know nothing about him and I don't want anybody to explain who he is in the comments. I prefer not knowing. Unless he makes the majors. Then I'd like to know. Or maybe not. He's an Oriole.

He's wearing a helmet with a big "O's" on it. Do the Orioles really wear these helmets with this O's logo in MLB games? I don't know. I rarely watch the O's. It's possible. It's possible they wear them only Fridays. It's possible, again, that Delmonico is not even wearing an O's helmet and he's really got a pizza box on his head. Those Bowman/Topps people are so tricky.

Here is Oriole Bird. He's wearing a cap with a logo of himself on it. That strikes me as odd. What if everybody did that? I think I'd have to sign up for space travel if that happened.

So, there you are, a whole bunch of different Orioles caps that I can't sort out at all.

Now you know why I don't show Orioles cards that often.

The Dodgers make it simple.

They've worn the same cap since they moved from Brooklyn.

Well, except for the rare time or two when their marketing department cornered someone.



  1. Topps is pissing me off with all the photoshitted hats on Orioles cards this year. I think everybody is ok with the old ornithologically correct bird hat on cards until they get new photos with the new cartoon bird hats. Some cards have the new cartoon bird and some have the old cartoon bird.

    They now wear the white crown new cartoon bird hat at home games and black crown new cartoon bird hats on the road. They have never had "O's" helmets so while trying to be up to the minute correct, Topps actually screwed up on Markakis's Bowman base card this year. They do wear the "O's" hats and black jerseys on Friday games but not on the helmets. Orange jerseys only come out for Saturday home games.

  2. The primarily white Orioles hat with the white jersey looked terrible at the All-Star Game.

  3. The Titans logo is an ornithologically correct flaming thumbtack.


    That is all.. except for the fact that Jose Viscaino looks like my Portuguese grandfather did when he was young and, in addition, that hat is horrible.

    Oh, one more thing... you're spot on with the changing cap thing. The Astros have worn about a dozen different hats since I've been in Houston. Find something, stick to it.

  5. The 1979 Pirates had were both bad and constantly changing.