Monday, November 14, 2011

Awesome night card, pt. 129 (the all-fish team)

If you're not clicking on this because "it's just another night card," then you're missing out.

Yup, that's my teaser to get you to read this junk.

It's award season and Major League Baseball is kicking off its theme week with the Rookie of the Year Awards today. Personally, I don't care much about the awards until we get to Thursday, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun with them.

One of the players contending for the A.L. rookie award is Mark Trumbo for the Angels. I don't know if he's going to win. It could be Jeremy Helllickson or Michael Pineda. But how can you ignore 29 home runs in a rookie season?

Unless you're me, that is.

You're probably wondering why I've got a card of Mike Trout here if I'm talking about Mark Trumbo.

Well, I'm secure enough to tell you that I simply mixed them up. I don't follow the Angels -- they're too far away and in the wrong league. I'm not a prospector, so young guys in their first year in the majors rarely mean anything to me. Finally, each player has the initials "M.T."  It's like they WANT people to mix them up. Sneaky whippersnappers with their fancy similar sounding names.

But I'm not going to let that stop me -- especially since I pulled the cards already -- which is why I now present to you the:


People, this is stuff you'll never see on the MLB Network.

This came about as I was looking at Trout's card and thinking, "wasn't there another Angels player that had a fish name?" Of course, that name was "Salmon," and I'm sure thousands of Angels fans have made the connection already. But I just made the connection last week and I need to validate it here on this blog.

But after getting past the Angels -- they also have another player with a fish name, Hank Conger, and then there's that whole "angelfish" thing -- it wasn't easy filling out the team, as you'll see.

So without further screw-ups from me, here is the all-fish team. I think I deserves some royalties for every customer Red Lobster picks up after I publish this:

PITCHER - Jim "Catfish" Hunter

Jim neither looked nor acted like a catfish. A's owner Charlie Finley gave him the nickname just because he thought it stood out.

CATCHER - Steve Lake

Going with "Lake" for the all-fish team is kind of like going with "spotted" for an all-dog team. It's a description, not a species. But I'm not the one that named the "Lake Chubb." So we've got ourselves a catcher.


It is only because Bream mimicked the movements of the European common bream that he was able to slide past Pirates catcher Mike Lavalliere and win the 1992 NLCS title for the Braves. Sid was the "Fish That Doomed Pittsburgh."


The European roach appears to be a smallish fish, which fits with Roach's light-hitting ways. He was often used as a pinch-hitter. He later went on to be a bank vice-president, which means he's smarter than a dude compiling an all-fish team.

SHORTSTOP - Melvin Mora

Two posts in a row for this Melvin Mora card! (That means I'm lazy, everyone). I know it says "third base" on the card, but he's flopping over to shortstop for my team.

It was not easy finding an image for a mora. It is also known as the "googly-eyed cod," but I couldn't find a major leaguer with that name.

THIRD BASEMAN - Jack Brohamer

Brohamer also played third base in his career, so ignore that "second base" icon. Besides, a team of fish playing on land would be flopping all over the place. You'd never be able to get them to stay at their position.

Brohamer's fish is the "Jack," of which there is the amberjack, black jack, yellow jack, etc. The one in the photo is a black jack. It looks spooky.

LEFT FIELD - Mike Trout

Sooz, at a A Cardboard Problem, has been talking about Mike Trout for at least two years now because he's a New Jersey boy. That alone should have helped me separate Mike Trout from Mark Trumbo. But I have this thing called a "prospect filter" in my brain. It was working overtime during the whole Bryce Harper craze and I guess it malfunctioned.


Bass' nickname was not "largemouth." That just seems like an opportunity wasted.

RIGHT FIELD - Tim Salmon

Look at all those different kind of salmon. Ain't they yummy? Until Mike Trout blows up, Tim Salmon has the fishiest name of all major league fish names to ever fishy fish fish.

Sorry, I'm really hungry. And I love salmon.

But before I get something to eat, a handful of honorable mention fish names:

Pitcher: Chris "Carp"enter, Jack Chesbro, Galen Sisco, Jared/Jeff "Yellow" Weaver, Chris Ray, Dizzy and Steve Trout
Outfield: Jack Clark, Sam "Wahoo" Crawford, Ralph Gar(r), Randy Bass

I'm sure there's others, but food is calling.

Enjoy the award announcements.

Remember, Mike Trout is not up for an award.


Night Card Binder Candidate: Mike Trout, 2011 Topps Update, #175
Does it make the binder?: Waiting for a ruling ...


  1. You are going to be so mad when I mention the most glaring joke/pun you missed:

    Preacher Roe

    You might say he was the precursor to the All-Fish Team.

  2. Wow, this is awesome. I would have never guessed you could fill a roster of all fish-named folks. Impressive.

    As for Trumbo's 29 HRs, I can ignore them rather easily when OBP is .291. Ouch. I think it'll be Hellickson, Walden, Nova, Pineda, Trumbo in that order, but what do I know?

  3. the fish that doomed pittburgh..... nice!

  4. for a lefty pitcher you could have used Steve "rainbow" Trout...

  5. Even as an Angel fan, I don't see Trumbo getting it. Even though I think his 29 HR is as misleading as Nova's 16-4 record, I still think Nova wins it.

  6. i once dated a googly-eyed cod back in the day

  7. "I don't follow the Angels -- they're too far away and in the wrong league." This from the guy who complains about Yankee fans who didn't know much about Lance Berkman (1600 mi away and wrong league) or Russell Martin (2700 mi away and wrong league) before they came to the Yankees. :)

  8. Lance Berkman and Russell Martin were each veterans by the time they came to the Yankees. Trumbo and Trout are not.

    Robert ~

    I'll update the "honorables" with Trout. Can't believe I missed him.

  9. AL rookie of the year voting:

    1. Hellickson
    2. Trumbo
    3. Hosmer
    4. Nova

  10. LOL oh this was the best thing I read all day!

  11. How about making Kevin Bass a Designated Hitter and adding current Seattle Mariners' outfield Mike Carp into the mix.

  12. If Topps comes up with a 2012 Lineage card of Steve Lake and Mike Trout (It could happen! We're talking Topps, after all.), we'd have Lake Trout. Yummmm!

    Could be a utility outfielder that could sub as a catcher in a pinch.

  13. My problem in fantasy ball this year was keeping Mike Trout and Mike Carp straight.

  14. Awesome post -- you made my "Month in Review" (again).