Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Blog of the year, part deux


Oh, it's you again.

I suppose you've come here thirsty for my knowledge-filled words.

You simple people.

Give me a single reason why I should take a few seconds out of my busy day to amuse your likeness. I am the owner of the two-time Blog of the Year! I have no time for your commoner games. Your mindless musings. Your childish desperation for cardboard pictures. I have heads of state to meet. I have decrees to announce. I have an appointment with Oprah to cry on her show. You are but a ink splotch in my date book.

But because I am a kind and benevolent king, I will allow myself to amuse your unsophisticated sensibilities with something that should be at your speed -- a smattering of cards with no connection other than that they came from a single person.

This person happens to be the same person who so rightly and justly crowned me Blog of the Year once again. And Wes of Jaybarkerfan's Junk was so confident in my winning the Blog of the Year once again, that he sent me cards before the vote was over.

I laugh at the ease at which I reign over all.

I do not know why I bother with your kind.

I could talk a fortnight about how boring you are and how regal I am, but I suppose your brains aren't equipped for such erudite conversation.

Very well then.

(*sigh*)

Some ridiculous cardboard:


An Awesome Night Card of Juan Castro. Does it dare enter the Night Card Binder? Of course it does. Would you give your Blog King a common night card? That is a rhetorical question, commoner. You be a fool!


A logo-obscured card of Hong-Chih Kuo. Your Blog King laughs at Upper Deck's inability to hide team logos. Any old serf can see the Dodger logo on this. Fie! I say.


An Australian? Did someone send the Blog King a card of a scurrilous debtor? I be very close to throwing someone's entire family into prison.


Much more pleasing to the eye. The golden frame and foil fits my kingly demeanor. And Xavier is a royally deserving name. Yet, Mr. Paul cannot work his craft as well as your Blog King can.


Yay, I know 1971 Topps well. A card set fit for a king. This is deserving of my viewing. Now, fetch me my ale.


Lastly -- because I have finished my time to waste on you -- are two numbered Russell Martin cards from the royally awful Piece of History sets. I will allow these in my collection despite the set's stench, despite Martin's fall from grace as a wretched Yankee and now a scurvy Pirate, and despite a scandalous Twin befouling my cardboard.

I will accept them, but I am growing weary of lowering myself.

In fact, I am weary of this whole exercise.

The two-time Blog of the Year has more important matters to address.

Your majesty has spoken!

Be gone!

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Wait, what? These weren't my Blog of the Year prizes? These were simply Jaybarkerfan Junk's PWE giveaway thingy?

Well, that's cool.

Guess that means I'm getting more cards!

I think someone needs to crown Jaybarkerfan's Junk king.

9 comments:

  1. "we're not worthy!"
    "we're not worthy!"

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  2. And that post was a perfect example of why the title was bestowed upon your royal shoulders a gain.

    We lowly peasants only hope you will not send your armies to destroy our collections and take all of our Dodger cards prisoner.

    Congrats and thanks for the Tribe cards ! ( I am on my knees, with head bowed, at this point.)

    Number verification ?
    a "ten" of course !

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  3. I didn't know there was a Blog King Award, but now that I do I'm quite impressed!!! Congrats and keep on doing what you're doing.

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  4. Gah!

    "Now, fetch me my ale"? Really? Shouldn't it be a "flagon of mead"?

    "Any old serf can see the Dodger logo on this." Again, really? Shouldn't it be "Any old Surf book can see the Dodger logo on this"?

    This sort of drivel gets you the Blog of the Year? Why don't you just name it "BotY Call" and be done with it?

    Congrats, by the way. Consistently good stuff.

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  5. That crap might work at Medieval Times, but it's not flying here, N.O.

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  6. Congrats on blog of the year (again)!

    You were the one who got me into the blogosphere in the first place.

    Any blogger who does that is certainly deserving of the "blog of the year" title.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congrats, brother. I raise my tankard of nectar in your general direction.

    May your bloggedy words spread the glory of Dodger Cardboard across the nets for all time!



    ReplyDelete