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Fan pack fail


A couple of months ago, the always entertaining Spastik Mooss displayed some Fan Pack loot he had received by writing to various major league teams.

He was nice enough to send me the Dodgers Fan Pack contact and also sent along a list of the goodies obtained by Donna of Donna's TTM Autographs blog when she wrote to the Dodgers a year or so ago. Here is what she obtained:

1 x Thank You Letter For Being An Amazing Fan
1 x Los Angeles Dodgers August 2008 Magazine
5 x Dodgers 50th Anniversary Temporary Tattoos
1 x Baseball Shaped Car Deodorizer
1 x Dodgers Insulated 6-pack Bag or Lunch Bag
1 x Package of 7 2008 Topps Trading Cards
Including:
1) Russell Martin 2008 Topps #LAD1
2) Matt Kemp 2008 Topps #LAD2
3) Derek Lowe 2008 Topps #LAD3
4) Brad Penny 2008 Topps #LAD4
5) Jeff Kent 2008 Topps #LAD8
6) James Loney 2008 Topps #LAD9
7) 2008 Topps Game Within A Game Sweepstakes Card

1 x Package of 6 2008 Topps Trading Cards
Including:
1) Hideki Okajima 2008 Topps #379 Red Sox card
2) Brandon Wood 2008 Topps #437 Angels card
3) Jayson Werth 2008 Topps #521 Philadelphia Phillies card
4) Matt Murton 2008 Topps #643 Chicago Cubs card
5) 2008 Topps Town card
6) 2008 Topps Camp card

The Spastik Mooss said it was by far the best team pack that he had witnessed on her blog. (By the way, Donna has phenomenal success getting autographs).

I've mentioned before that I'm not interested in memorabilia and knick-knacks from my team. I'm all about the cards. So I was happy to see some cards included in the Dodgers list. I thanked the Mooss, then eagerly dashed off a gracious email to the Dodgers and waited for my goodies.

I never received a return email telling me the items were coming, which probably should have been warning sign No. 1. But last week the envelope arrived. It came in the mail with three other card packages. I actually was more interested in what I got from the Dodgers than the card packages.

I would be sorely disappointed.

First out of the gate:

A Dodgertown key chain. An OK start, but it is nicked. Also, I believe the key chain has officially surpassed the coffee mug and the paperweight as the preferred "cold-and-unfeeling-gift-from-someone-who-just-wants-you-to-go-away."

That's the back of the key chain. I never understood the Dodgers' latest slogan. I'm guessing it has to do with the spring training move to Arizona.



That's the second thing out of the envelope. It's also nicked. I don't know what this is. It's not a magnet. It's not a sticker. It's not an iron-on patch. It's not a frisbee. I'm stumped.

Next up: a program from one of the Dodgers' homestands in August of last year. At least they sent me the right coverboy.

I suppose asking for a fan pack during the offseason isn't the greatest time. They probably send out a lot of leftover stuff like this.

The program had the typical self-promotional stuff and a short article on Kershaw that read like it was written by a local high school student.

But it included a photo of this great item. I think 100 dollars for a foam bat hat is a steal. You could seriously annoy the person next to you wearing that thing at a game.


This is probably the most disappointing thing about living 3,000 miles away from your favorite team. I missed out on a clinic/luncheon in which I could have met my favorite player, Ron Cey, along with Tommy Lasorda, Ken Landreaux (another favorite), Tommy Davis (another favorite), Brad Ausmus, James Loney, Joe Torre, Orlando Hudson, etc.

Oh, and living on the east coast means I don't get to hear Jeanne Zelasko's lovely barritone voice. Curses, foiled again.

But the biggest disappointment about living so far away is missing Aimee Teegarden play in the Hollywood softball game. I like her. And she made an excellent choice in uniform number. The Penguin rules!

This came out of the envelope next. Another publication-type thing. This is some promotional item for the upcoming season. It features a smattering of photos of the past season. But every page includes writing with some variation of the same theme: "give us money."

This is the highlight of "Line Drives," the 2010 Dodger season schedule. If you have trouble reading it, click on it for a bigger image. The Dodgers open with the Pirates on April 5th.

And if you need to get started early, here is the Dodgers' spring training slate for 2010.

I was rather disturbed by the inclusion of Yankees in a Dodger publication. I realize the Dodgers are playing the Yankees in interleague play this year, but you don't need to show me what those goofs look like. I see them enough.

OK, if you're wondering what else I got, you can stop now. That was it.

That's right. No cards. Not even any oversized or undersized cards that cause storage headaches. And no thank you letter. No car deodorizer. No lunch bag. No tattoos. Nothing. I actually did that thing where I put my arm all the way in the envelope and feel around for something I might have missed.

That is a major letdown from my favorite team. I mean, this is the Dodgers. I expect this from the Washington Nationals, but not L.A.


I know it was free. But I'm thoroughly disgusted.

Frank McCourt, what have you done with my team?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I think you're being a little unfair. You got a keychain (admittedly, with a stupid slogan), a program and some kind of ticket brochure for free.

The really bad teams just send out pocket schedules. :)
night owl said…
Doesn't exactly stack up to what Donna got, does it Paul?
Be happy you are a fan of a team with a true big league foam hat at an affordable cost... I think Donna might be lying or perhaps she dropped a C-note in with her SASE...
Dinged Corners said…
There isn't fan pack consistency. Girls and kids get better fan packs than guys. Really. Next time, sign your email "Gregoria."

Nevertheless, there is only one purpose for a fan pack, because they are usually junky (except for the Minnesota Twins). Here is the purpose:
so your 9 year old gets something addressed to her, that she can tear open willy nilly and enjoy vaguely interesting trinkets for a few minutes. Then, like the annual bag of Halloween candy, it goes to the dark place, the green thing with a lid in the garage, never to be thought of again.

I think all that remains in circulation around here is a large "autographed" photo/postcard of the Orioles bird and a letter from Joe Mauer's personal assistant plus a card that assistant got Joe to sign. For the most part, especially for men, fan packs = the Walmart of baseball memorabilia.
Mark Aubrey said…
I think that that oval thing could be a static clingy window decal. Or perhaps a placemat.
SpastikMooss said…
I just went back and checked what I got since I never posted about it. No wonder I never posted - haha it wasn't much more than yours.

My "cover boy" was Juan Pierre, so that's a minus. But I did get a Dodger Town temporary tattoo AND a Dodgertown livestrong bracelet thingy. So that was kind of cool.

All told, I was surprised to see 0 oversized cards. The Mariners, Pirates, and Orioles all sent me cards and so I sort of expected more.

The best thing by far, of all of the packs, was an Ichiro sticker. But I agree with DC - Memorabilia packs for men = the Walmart of memorabilia.
Captain Canuck said…
sorry about those 4 game losing streaks next June and August....
Motherscratcher said…
Yeah, I'm pretty sure Donna is lying for her own evil purposes. I don't know what she's up to, but we're on to her now.

As for paper weights, I think they will be making a huge comeback. I don't think anyone has bought a paper weight since 1983. When you think about it, there is probably somewhat of a worldwide paperweight shortage.

In fact, this might be a fantastic business opportunity. We should strike while the iron's hot.
madding said…
Is there some sort of protocol for requesting these things? I remember when I was actually a kid I wrote some letters to various NBA teams to see what I would get back on a suggestion from Beckett's magazine and I guess I ended up with some photocopied newsletters, stickers and an occasional promo photo. I guess that's what would be considered a "fan pack" nowadays.
Anonymous said…
Not the best fanpack, but at least they sent one. Some teams just ignore requests, while others send you a PDF file of the schedule...Yeah, the Giants would be that team.

I didn't get anything from my Reds last year. And the Dodgers, I could never find a good e-mail address. 2 bounces as you're not worth the time in my book.

Here were the results of my "Fan Pack Challenge 2009":

http://thewritersjourney.wordpress.com/fan-pack-challenge-2009/

I'll probably do this again in 2010...hopefully I get something from every team this year.