Dear Joe ...

Hi. You don't know me. But that's OK. I don't know a whole lot about you either, or any of your teammates, actually. I hope you'll forgive me for that, because I have a favor to ask.

You see, I watched your game tonight against the Tigers. Exciting stuff, although I have to admit, dome baseball isn't for me. I confess, I rooted for the Cardinals in 1987 just because of that blasted indoor arena. But you guys find a way to make it work for you, that's for sure. Great game.

I was really trying to get to know your team while watching the game. Because I had a feeling I'd be seeing you in the postseason. I recognize you, Joe. And I know Justin and Joe Nathan and Orlando Cabrera when I see them. Delmon Young, too. But damn, I admit, I have a hard time putting a name to a face after that. And that's even with the guys who have been with the team for awhile, Cuddyer and Punto and guys like that. I just heard of Bobby Keppel today. He's only pitched in 37 games. I'm a National League guy. Sorry.

The thing is, I admire what you've done for the last month or so. You've been playing good baseball and you really seem to be a legitimately solid ballclub, not like some of the teams that have snuck into the postseason over recent years. And that gives me confidence. Because congratulations aside, this is the reason why I'm writing to you:

You are our first line of defense.

What do I mean by that? Well, I'll break it down for you. "Our" refers to people who stand up for everything that's good and right in baseball. In other words, people who don't want to see the Yankees run around with a World Series trophy. And "line of defense" refers to exactly what I just wrote -- protection from seeing Alex Rodriguez get all giddy with his pinstripe pals. Joe, I'm pleading with you. You must prevent this from happening. If this happens, do you know how much vomit will have to be cleaned up across the country? Oceans and oceans, my friend.

I hope you accept this mission, Joe. The Yankees are cocky. They've recently overwhelmed the other teams in the AL playoffs. They just swept the Red Sox. They went to Anaheim and won the series against the Angels. They felt awfully proud of themselves then. Sickeningly proud.

They know that they have beaten you and your teammates each of the seven times they have faced you this year. But I have noticed that all but one of the games were close. At Yankee Stadium, you lost 5-4, 6-4 in 11 innings, 3-2 in 10, and 7-6. And that was when your team was under .500. So, I think there's something to work with there.

You've got to do it, Joe. We're depending on you. Millions and millions of us. You think it's just those 50,000 thousand homer-hanky-waving (that's got to stop, by the way) fans that are supporting you?

Far from it Joe. Far from it. I've got a Twins cap in my closet somewhere. I'll be dusting it off for this series. We're all behind you. So, thanks for listening, and ...

GO TWINKIES!