The A-Team, baseball style

 Several weeks ago, I found out that they were working on a movie version of "The A-Team." Movie and TV geeks have probably known about this for years -- since its scheduled release is next June -- but I'm just not that interested in movies/TV shows anymore.

However, I do hold nostalgic feelings for the favorite TV shows of my youth, and "The A-Team" is definitely at the top of the list. My brothers and I were seated in front of the television in our basement "rec-room" each Tuesday for just about every episode those first couple of years it was on the air.

Those of you who remember will know that "The A-Team" debuted after the Super Bowl in 1983 and was an instant hit. What wasn't there to love? Four Army outcasts who become soldiers of fortune, blast away baddies with jury-rigged weapons, bicker, and drive an awesome, beat-up van? That's prime-time gold, baby. The clincher for me is it was all done with humor. Too many action shows, especially back then, take themselves too seriously. This was more of a farce.

The show would never survive on TV today. Its pervasive depictions of violence without consequence, joking treatment of the mentally ill, and seeming cruelty (to get B.A. Baracus -- Mr. T -- on a plane each episode, they would either drug him or knock him out with a blow to the head) weren't politically correct. But it was right up my alley as a teenager.

And a movie about the show peaks my interest, unlike some of the recent movies that were spun off TV shows (I never played with Transformers. I was too busy with beer and girls and perplexing college courses at that time).

The speculation now is over who will play the show's main characters in the movie. Some are almost wrapped up, like Liam Neeson playing John "Hannibal" Smith. But a few others are up in the air.

For those of you who never caught the show (you poor, poor people), here are the characters. Clockwise from center: John "Hannibal" Smith, Templeton "Faceman" Peck, "Howling Mad" Murdock, and "B.A." Baracus. The actors were: George Peppard, Dirk Benedict, Dwight Schultz, and, of course, Mr. T.

And now I've reached the point that you've been waiting for: if they wanted to cast baseball players for the main parts in the movie, who would they pick?

Funny you should ask. I have an answer.

My selections came off the top of my head. If you wanted to take more time to analyze this, you could probably come up with more appropriate candidates. But why would you want do that? The show wasn't serious. There wasn't a ton of thought about plot or anything really. So I'm just keeping with the spirit of the show.

So these are my members of "The Baseball A-Team." Cue the theme music:

Hannibal: Whitey Herzog. "The White Rat" bears only a slight resemblance to Peppard. He certainly wasn't as dashing or even close to being in shape. But the resemblance is enough for me. And he was a noted leader. He was a no-nonsense guy with intelligence, although he didn't seem to have much of the humor that Hannibal had.

Faceman: "Face" liked the ladies, and obviously so did Steve Garvey. The ladies liked Face, and they liked Garvey, too. Both Face and Garvey had good looks and seemed to be attached to permanent smiles. Where the two differ: Garvey never seemed to have an ulterior motive, at least not in public. Face always did.

 Murdock: The easiest choice of all. I've always thought that Murdock and Jay Johnstone bore a resemblance. And I'm not the first one to say that folks thought Johnstone was crazy during his playing days. Can I see baseball teammates breaking Johnstone out of a mental institution so he can play a ballgame? Yup.

 B.A. Baracus: Another easy choice -- Albert (a.k.a. Joey) Belle. Mr. Cranky would have to grow some facial hair, wear a mohawk and buy some really bulky gold jewelry, but otherwise it's a perfect match. Belle had all of cuddliness of Mr. T in those days. (Remember, Mr. T was not someone viewed with affection back then. He was pretty scary).

That makes a damn good A-Team if you ask me. I can see that collection of personalities together arguing in a GMC van, on their way to their next rescue:

"If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire ... The A-Team."