Wednesday, February 3, 2010
This. means. war.
Oh, I've bipped here and there. But that was amateur stuff. There are pros out there and they're throwing off the curve. I have been bipped FIVE times. What the hell is going on? I thought everyone got bipped once, had a good laugh, and then went back to fuming about the color of the jersey swatch on their Aramis Ramirez relic card.
This is like the kid who goes to kindergarten for the first time, comes home and says, "I'm glad that's over," only to be informed that he has to do it again 180 times a year for the next 18 years of his life.
I've been bipped by Bonds, Willis and Hershiser. Then a package came from Matt of the aptly named Heartbreaking Cards. I knew what was inside because Matt's been bipping like rabbits. I don't think he's ever going to stop.
The first thing that came out of the package was this note:
This is what I was supposed to enjoy:
But there was more. Next, Matt thought I needed to complete the 1992 Topps Kids Dodgers team set.
But not too big of a gold star, because this fell out next:
All right, Matt, what have you got. A bunch of Balbonis? A mob of Macfarlanes? A gaggle of Gubiczas?
All right, after that, I took a warm shower and tried to move on.
After Bip IV, I really thought I was done. No one else on my radar.
Then this came:
This was totally unexpected from Mike of JD's Wild Cardz. We had arranged a card-for-card trade. That card did arrive:
But then there was the note. And this on the reverse side:
So this is what happened next to the word guy:
Not a terribly unpleasant bipping. But it was Bipping No. 5 or Bipping V, and unless I want the roman numerals after the bippings to resemble those that come after "Super Bowl," it's time to implement Operation Bip.
I have some key ammunition that I have been saving up long before I knew what bipping was. I knew it would come in handy someday. Remember, I don't throw cards away. I keep EVERYTHING.
It's time to make someone else afraid of their mailbox.
I don't want to hear any complaints. Or I'll sic Catherine on you. She's hard-core. She's bipped on cocaine. She tells me it's nice. At least I think that's what she said. I was kind of distracted when she said it.