The worst card of 2009, contestant #3

Yeah, Upper Deck, I told you I was coming for you. And you made it too easy. What the hell is this?

Forget about the fact that this is a card from that awful, nausea-inducing Spectrum, or that Manny Ramirez's photo is cropped at the knees (a photo editing no-no). I'm talking about the fact that Ramirez last played for the Red Sox in July, this product came out in February, and Manny is still featuring his familiar, pine-tar gunked RED SOX helmet.

So lazy. So I'm-going-to-sit-on-my-couch-eat-bon-bons-and-print-photos-on-foil-board lazy. Three months ago, we were ripping Stadium Club for photoshopping Ramirez (and the rest of the stadium) into Dodger blue. So if not being able to track down a photo of Ramirez playing in a Dodger uniform -- even though he played for the team for two whole months -- was unacceptable three months ago, then what does doing the same thing now make it? I'd say unpurchasable.

I don't know why anybody is buying Spectrum anyway. Aside from the weird colors (it puts me in mind of that awful grape-flavored cold medicine I had to take when I was a kid) and the zig-zags, the whole way the card is put together looks and feels cheap. Is this marketed to young collectors? If so, then who is Upper Deck X marketed to?

Each time I go to Target, I see the blasters of '09 Spectrum sitting there with the rest of the cards. I make a mental list of what I might buy as I'm scanning the selection. Spectrum never makes it into the top 10.

I actually first saw the Ramirez card on topher's blog, Crackin' Wax. And to paraphrase Jack Buck, I couldn't believe what I just saw. But because I'm a Dodger collector, I get suckered into wanting cards like this. Topher sent me the card, along with another similar Spectrum effort.

Greg Maddux in a Padres uniform. I'd still like to think card companies had time to catch Maddux in a Dodger uniform, even though the time frame was more limited than with Manny. I think I'd even prefer a photo of Maddux when he was with the Dodgers in 2006. But still, this is better than photoshopping Maddux into a Dodger uniform, which Topps has done several times.

Nothing to get hysterical about with this card. Kemp is still a Dodger, last I knew. I actually appreciate getting these Spectrum cards, because I don't know when I'm going to get around to buying any Spectrum or even picking off the individual Dodgers.

I also received two 2009 Heritage Dodgers from topher. The Heritage Dodger project is coming along nicely. I'm spending minimal cash on Heritage overall but still picking up Dodgers, and not getting sucked into the whole short-printing cesspool. That's how I want it this year.

Lastly, I was the proud first winner of Crackin' Wax's BoBuBingo contest. Considering I was playing the game while I was at work, and during a semi-busy time in my shift, I'm quite pleased I won.

That's what I won. It's a blooper Moments & Milestones autograph card of Braves player Brandon Jones. I'll give you a moment to spot the blooper.

Give up? Wow, you're not too swift are you? I'll let you in on a secret: that's not Brandon Jones featured in the photo. That's the Reds' Joey Votto.

I have no idea if this was an actual honest-to-goodness, oops-we-goofed error card. That's partly my own cluelessness and partly because in these difficult card collecting times, card companies are creating intentional errors. Yes, part of the wonderful, baffling modern world of card collecting is Topps stomping all over their integrity by purposely screwing up.

So I don't know what I've got here, but it's certainly unique. And I thank topher for it. He's just full of surprises over at Crackin' Wax. Check it out.

In the meantime, I've got some Twins to send out to him. You might have heard that I picked them to finish last this year. It was a joke! Joke predictions! Not serious! Consider it an April Fools' Day prank, one day early.

But there's no joking about making the Ramirez Spectrum card a contender for worst card of '09. It is officially contestant #3.