Friday, May 20, 2016

Variation of the same theme

I know nobody cares about my little problems, but I've made it a part of my blog act for going on eight years now, so there's no way I can dial it back.

I always reserve my trade packaging for days off. It's the only period when I have enough mental energy for finding, sorting and packaging cards. I'm way too much of a mess during work days to be doing that stuff. Who knows what you'd find in your envelope if I tried to squeeze packaging in during a work shift. Some old tissues wrapped around thumb tacks or something similar. It'd be ugly. And harmful.

So, Wednesday was my day off. I was ready to get some packaging done.

It was then that I realized that my daughter had her road test. The test was scheduled for 1 in the afternoon, which, for a night owl like me is like scheduling it at 8:30 in the morning. I set my alarm early -- 10 a.m. But there was no need because fire engines screamed down my street at 7, and I approached the day with a refreshing 3 1/2 hours of sleep.

Like every school in America these days, getting my daughter out of the building is akin to getting permission to transport political prisoners out of the country. Sign this. Go here. Not THERE. HERE. Sign this again. Wait outside. Then, and only then, the school finally coughs up my kid.

This was road test No. 2. Because nobody was ready for road test No. 1, that's for sure. So there was a little pressure, because here in New York, if you fail two road tests, you've got to pay more money. But I'm happy to say, she passed and there have been no incidents in the two whole days that she's been driving out on her own.

That's more than I can say for the woman across the street from me.

An hour after the road test, I was in the backyard when I heard someone talking to me. I turned and it was a police officer, yammering about good neighbors and bad neighbors. I had no idea what he was talking about. It turns out the 87-year-old woman across the street backed into my car parked in the street and then took off, leaving a white streak across the driver's side. Lovely. She's not a sweet old lady either. She's grumpy. With a driver's license she clearly shouldn't have.

So I spent a good portion of my day off with accident reports and insurance forms. And, yes, it's fortunate nobody was hurt but I've got cards to send!!!

I'm handling all of this stuff alone because my wife is out of town on a work trip. I was all set to call her about the day's activities when I found out from someone who took the trip with her that my wife was sick from food poisoning and spent the whole day in her bed at the hotel, with the notable exception of several vomiting trips. She's five states away, so there wasn't a lot I could do, but I spent the rest of the day really trying to figure out what I could do.

And that was the end of my day off. Nothing got packaged. Nothing got sent. Everything is sitting on the desk where it was sitting since the previous week. I'm starting to forget who the cards are supposed to go to, even with sticky notes everywhere.

Of course, everyone has their problems. This -- the road test, the accident, the food poisoning -- is all a variation of the same theme, which is -- I HAVE NO TIME.

And speaking of variations of the same theme, I just got a card package from Colbey of Cardboard Collections.

Every card from that package that I needed was a variation of the base card.

Take a look:

We call them parallels, but they're actually a variation of the base card.

(Add League back into the Dodgers' still-combustible bullpen and that bullpen would burn Dodger Stadium right to the ground).

I believe this Bowman Chrome card is a variation on Jose De Leon's regular Bowman card. Or not. Who knows. I've stopped caring.

This is my first 2016 Gypsy Queen mini -- a shrunken variation of the base card.

This is my first Kenta Maeda card. And it's a snazzy one, too. It's one of those shiny minis (a variation of a variation, or a parallel of a parallel, if you wish).

More mini variations of variations, but these variations are on the back.

OK, I lied on the Jackie Robinson. That's a regular old regular mini, that I somehow needed.

This also isn't a variation. It's a regular old base card that I already own. But it was just too cool not to show.

Now don't worry, I haven't given up on trying to get packages out. There's another day off coming in a few days.

Never fear, Wrigley Roster Jenga, Dawg Day Cards, Sportscard From The Dollar Store, Dime Boxes, The Lost Collector, Royals and Randoms, Too Many Verlanders, Fantastic Catch and a few others (I'll remember them, I promise). There can't possibly be another day like Wednesday happening in back-to-back weeks.

Things are looking up. I have extra time now that the kid is driving, the wife is back to herself, and the old lady across the street's house is for sale. Soon she won't be able to hound us with vehicle mayhem anymore.

All in good time.


  1. When it rains...

    Just one of those days/weeks. Sorry dude. Hopefully you can relax a bit this weekend. Those green parallels - or variations or whatever - always confused me. I feel like I have a lot of random colored 2014 Topps. I feel like I like that set less and less as time passes.

    Speaking of pass, congrats (?) on having a driving teenager. I'm sure that's not stressful at all.

  2. Unless you're hosting a Police Academy movie reunion, it's never a good thing to turn around and see a police officer talking at you from your lawn. Even then, do you want Guttenberg on your property?

  3. Wow... the grumpy lady is pretty extreme. Hits your car and takes off. Then decides overnight to put her house up for sale. She needs to open up a few packs of baseball cards, calm down, and collect herself.