Gint-a-cuffs III: Marlins mania

Before I begin the Ginta-a-Cuffs III festivities, I would like you to know something.

Through four packs, I have pulled five Marlins (Cousins, Vazquez, Johnson, Sinkbeil, Stanton).

Five.

Five Marlins.

Five.

I don't even know what a Brett Sinkbeil is. All apologies to Mr. Sinkbeil and to everyone who is up on that stuff who just threw up their hands and said "I can't BELIEVE this guy doesn't know The Sinker! What an idiot!"

I know you're itching to tell me who it is. But I don't want to know. My brain is packed with too much information. I am in the midst of learning the most complicated, detailed, crazy insane computer system ever devised, and I have no room for absorbing info about Marlins. Why do you think I quit Twitter?

But I just wanted to let that be known.

Five Marlins.

Five.

Oh, how many Dodgers did I pull through four packs?

Thanks for asking.

Zero is the answer.

And on we go with Gint-a-Cuffs III!

As you know, I already revealed pack No. 1, but I didn't score it, because I didn't know the scoring system. Since that's been taken care of, I will show the cards that scored from the first pack and then reveal packs 2 through 4.

By the way, there is no way on the planet that I win with the box that I received. I know that kills the suspense. But ignore that loud hissing sound and let's look at some OLD-TIMEY CARDS!

PACK 1

N43 - David Wright. Obviously this wasn't in Pack 1, but I'm lumping it with the Pack 1 cards. David Wright is a favorite player of a Gint-a-Cuffs participant (+2) and an N43 (+5) for 7 points.

By the way, Greg Z., get back to me on what you've got for Wrighty because someone else is desperately waiting in the wings.

66 - Starlin Castro, Cubs (favorite player card +2)

42 - Heath Bell, Padres (favorite player card +2)

AP1 - Siberian Tigers (Animals in Peril mini +3)

MMF30 - Michael Faraday (Minds That Made Future insert, +2)

N43: 7 points
Pack 1: 9 points
Total: 16 points

If every pack went like this one, I wouldn't be doing too badly. But this is my third time in Gint-a-Cuffs. I know what's coming.

PACK 2

#49 - Javier Vazquez, Marlins (0 points)
#98 - Jason Bay, Mets (0 points)

#32 - Dirk Hayhurst, Baseball Player/Author/Blogger (0 points)

OK, the deal on Bullwinkle. He's a ball player for the Padres, Jays and Rays who has spent most of his time in the minors. He apparently has a very popular and revealing blog, which I've never heard of until I pulled this card. He is dressed like this because he is a "Garfoose." It's some character he created after being inspired by his wife who works with special needs kids.

And now you know.

Moving on.

#155 - Josh Johnson, Hey, it's a Marlin! (0 points)
#33 - Curtis Granderson, Yankees (minus 1 point for going over to the dark side)

#309 - Kurt Suzuki, A's (+2 for short print). The border on this card shows how off-center it is.

137 - Carlos Beltran, Mets, regular-back mini. (0 points)

HH89 - Todd Helton (+1, Hometown Heroes insert card)

Just once I'd like to be able to say "I still need the Todd Helton card."

Pack 2 total: 2 whole points
Total through 2 packs: 18 points

PACK 3

58 - Alcides Escobar, Royals (0 points)

43 - Jake LaMotta, boxing champion (0 points, too bad)
5 - Ardolis Chapman, Reds (0 points)
261 - Carlos Pena, Cubs (0 points)
279 - Brian Wilson, Giants (0 points)

AOM22 - Homo Habilis, Stone User (+1 for Ascent of Man insert set)

Showing this card after the Brian Wilson card is redundant. But I don't decide the collation.

PP2 - Mike Gellner (+2 for being Mike Gellner and a fellow blogger -- or at least he used to blog -- and +3 for being a Portraits and Penultimacy card for 5 points total)

This card, by the way, has a whole bunch of jibberish code on the back, for all you code breakers. I don't know if this is a parallel card or if all the Gellner cards have this on the back. Most of all, I don't care. Brain. Is. Full.

HH29 - Rick Porcello (+1, Hometown Heroes card)

I collected all of the States insert cards in '08, the National Pride cards in '09, the This Date in History Cards in '10. But I am not collecting all of these. It's too much of the same thing and the set is too large (100 cards). I'm done. Need the Dodgers though.

Pack 3 total: 7 points
Total through 3 packs: 25 points

PACK 4

269 - Derrek Bell, Orioles (0 points)
53 - Chipper Jones, Braves (0 points)
267 - Brett Sinkbeil, Guess Which Team He Plays For (0 points)

61 - Brian Roberts, Orioles (+2 for favorite player card)

35 - Adam Dunn, White Sox

325 - Mike Stanton, Marlins (the 5th Marlin!) (+2 for being a short-print)

SRU6 - The Human Blockhead (+3 for Step Right Up mini insert set)

This set is mildly amusing to me, but I can't help but think of my mother's reaction to it, especially the last part of the write-up on the back ("he mastered the art of hammering nails and spikes into his face.")

By the way, mom, his name is Melvin Burkhart.

MMF39 - Samuel Colt (+2, Minds That Made the Future).

Man had a gun and a Houston professional sports team named after him. He's a perfect fit for this set.

Pack 4 total: 9 points
Total through 4 packs: 34 points

There you are. Four packs of mediocrity.

What do you expect with five Marlins?