As close as I'll get to being a major leaguer

A couple of things first:

1. Topps is making a baseball card of the guy who caught Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit. Why do I care other than to say sarcastically, "How nice of Topps to notice?" Well, because Christian Lopez, the guy who caught Jeter's homer, played football at a college my newspaper covers. He's a recent graduate. When he caught the ball, we were able to interview the guy while the game was still going on for a story that went with all the Jeter hoopla stories Sunday. I take back everything bad I've ever said about cell phones.

2. People are opening 2011 Allen & Ginter. No way? Way. I'm trying my best to avoid images of the product because my box STILL AIN'T HERE, but I had to take a little sneak peak.

OK, now onto how I currently resemble a major league baseball player.

I strained my right oblique the other day. You know, that muscle that shelves at least one major league baseball player a week?

I don't know how I did it. I've carried a couple heavy things up and down stairs recently, so that's probably it. I've also been to an amusement park. That could be it, too.  But given my semi-advancing age, I could have just as easily done it simply by standing up.

All I know is that my body says "twisting is definitely not an option." Ouchy, ouch, ouch. I can see why swinging a bat might be an issue if you have an oblique injury.

So no more of this running around craziness. I obviously can't handle it. I've decided to be a good little blogger and do what good little bloggers do. Post some trades!

Yes, I'm blaming a muscle injury for not being able to finally start posting that nickname series I promised months ago.

Sorry, it's catch-up time.

Here are four trades that arrived at my doorstep too long ago. I still have six other trades waiting to be commemorated forever in blog form, but even I have my limits.

You will notice that a few of these cards were scanned crookedly. That's because my scanner momentarily stopped the "automatic correction" thing, and because of the recent injury (have I milked that enough yet?), I couldn't get the cards straight (scanner is at floor level and you've got to reach). Once again, technology is failing us.

OK, cards:

1. Cliff from Capewood's Collections

Holy crap! Is that a 1992 Bowman card? I need 15 Dodgers from this set still. To me, this is the most difficult junk wax era team set to complete. In fact, let me devise a quick list of the five toughest -- based on the number of Dodgers I still need from these sets:

1. 1992 Bowman
2. 1993 Pacific
3. 1993 Bowman
4. 1991 Leaf
5. 1993 Donruss

Good gosh, that was depressing. I don't think I can continue with this post ...

Never mind! A teenaged Ramon Martinez and Ozzie Guillen have re-generated my will to post! Look at the clueless vibe that made SuperStar Specials so charming! The write-up on the back is charming, too ...

"While the average teen worries about the big game against the town rival or the latest CD by their favorite rock group, a select few of them have bigger things on their mind."

I considered myself an average teen, and I think you need to fit "girls" into that list of concerns there. We didn't have any town rival. And even if we did, they wouldn't compare to what Wendy was wearing in homeroom yesterday.

Look, Roy Campanella has just tripped Billy Martin, after tagging him out to clinch a Dodgers win in the '53 World Series! Why don't we hear more of this? Embarrassing Billy Martin is something that needs to be told to our grandchildren. Yes, I know he had no problem embarrassing himself, but it's always more fun when it's done by my team.

Cliff also sent me the Series 2 Rod Barajas card I showed in the last post. By the way, Hiroki Kuroda really does do that "I can't see you" thing to the hitter when he throws the ball. It's alarming. For everyone.

(P.S.: Still looking for the Thames and DeJesus Jr. Series 2 cards. Give it up people! I have Ginter to collect!)

"Yeah, Steve, just toss the ball up in the air, casual-like. It'll make a great picture. You'll be just like Steve Avery. That card made him a star!"

(Tragically, Mintz pitched a single season each for the Giants and Angels, and no one ever asked him about his ball-tossing card).

2. Baseball Dad from All Tribe Baseball

This card commemorates that famed play when the Dodgers had three players on one base on the same play. I'm not sure why Rube Bressler is featured on the card, since he wasn't any of the three players.

This was back in the '30s, when the Dodger were awful. And fans and people in baseball had a great time laughing at them. You know, um, like now.

This is a baseball card set's version of "Jumping the Shark." Tom Paciorek? Baseball legend? I don't care how much of a fan favorite Wimpy was, you've reached filler material when you're classifying him as a legend.

This is the first Robinson featured in this post. It is not the only Robinson featured in this post. Intrigued? If so, you'll only be mildly disappointed.

These kinds of parallels make me sad.

No, THESE kinds of parallels make me sad.

Fernando rules. He is going to be the next player I put on the "Dodgers I Collect" page. Too Many Granderson's said (half-jokingly, I think) that Mike Scioscia is The Man on the rookie card that features both Scioscia and Valenzuela. He said, and I quote, "screw that noise" to Fernandomania. To that I say:

:O

Valenzuela is being punished because he didn't appear on the Simpsons, like Scioscia did. Well, did the Simpsons ever ASK Valenzuela?

Do you ever get that feeling as a team collector that some day, way off in the future, you just might, possibly, maybe collect all of your team's cards? Maybe, if you come up short, it'll be because of some 1949 Bowman card or an old tobacco card.

Well, I think like that sometimes. Only I think the elusive cards will be stuff like this. Playing cards that feature ballplayers. Just when I think I am aware of all of these things, another one pops up. And they're always going to be making playing cards. Not even the internet can kill playing cards. So, this phenomenon may never stop.

This is awesome. Much better than the Rafael Palmeiro version of this card that I have and just can't seem to unload.

I think Upper Deck should be allowed a baseball license just to put out Sweet Spot Classic again. But only if UD gets someone else to do the back to the cards, because UD can't do card backs. Showing a random five years from Jim Gilliam's career even though there is plenty of space? That's a head-shaker.

3. DK Wilson from It's Like Having My Own Card Shop

This very fine Throwback version of Jeff Weaver's '09 Update card will start off this trade segment. I started to say something about the All-Star game here, seeing as Jeff's brother was the A.L. starter, but it didn't make sense. And for once, I decided not to post it.

OK, everyone loves pitchers batting. How about pitchers running? Anyone have that kind of player collection?

NEXT! (sheesh).

I am SO happy to get this card. So happy that I scanned and rescanned it because it kept coming out crooked. Yes, the pain was worth it. Look how tremendous this card is. Kershaw was awesome in the All-Star Game. You cannot deny the facts behind his greatness nor the card's greatness.

Hee-hee. Everytime I see Hong-Chih Kuo cards I think of him playing the Mets. The last time the Dodgers faced the Mets, Kuo was shown warming up in the bullpen. Mets announcer Gary Cohen said, "Oh no, not that guy."

You know that recent post in which Upper Deck Timeline was the only "Frankenset" I could remember? How could I forget Donruss Originals? Or Topps All-Time Fan Favorites? Or Topps Archives? Why does anyone continue to read this drivel?

The other Robinson to which I eluded. This is one of the Jackie Robinson series shortprints from Heritage. Oh, that sneaky Topps. The part about this card that kills me is the back:

Run out of ink, Topps?

4. Captain Canuck from Waxaholic (now with a new business card. Cool!)

I would like to personally thank the Rangers for assisting in the National League in winning the All-Star Game.  After suffering through Hank Blalock and Michael Young over the years, it's about blasted time. And, no, David Murphy, I know you had nothing to do with it. But maybe someday your time will come.

Xavier Paul is now a Pittsburgh Pirate and doing OK. The Pirates have several ex-Dodgers on their team. I could point out the fact that the Pirates are now contending for the first time in decades, while the Dodgers are  a game out of last, spending money on mercurial left fielders. But that would be predictable and cliche of me.

I cannot believe the Captain didn't hang onto this card so he could rip on someone named "Chance." There is nothing quite like pinning the name "Chance" on someone to illustrate that there are all kinds of different people in this world.

So you go out of your way to make this crazy card set. It's going to be shiny and refractory and have lines every which way. You're going to send a few collectors into convulsions, but that's OK, because this card is just good crazy fun. No responsibility, no rules, just crazy fun.

Except this: "traded to Blue Jays." We've GOT to get that fact in there.

Do you think if HoloGrFx didn't put that note in there that anyone would care? They're all wandering around bumping into walls after viewing the card. They have bigger concerns.

More Sweet Spot Classic! More Campy! Campanella has been the star of this post, as he should be.

Oh, Captain Canuck also sent me a pack of 2008 Masterpieces. Four cards. All dupes. Ah, I remember Masterpieces well.

He also sent me this:

A 12-card bipping of 1991 Donruss Orel Hershisers.

Lovely.

Apparently, the Captain doesn't know that we're done with bipping in the States.

In fact, I've already been bipped with Hershiser, by another Braves blogger.

Must CC do everything dayf does?

OK, that's it for now.

I will now hold a vigil for my pending box of Allen and Ginter. I plan to greet the UPS driver at the door, because if I miss him, I'm going to have to bend down and twist my body to pick the package off the porch floor.

And I may not get up.

How do baseball players get those trainer people? I need one of those.