Sunday, August 15, 2010

It's time once again ...

... for every card blogger's favorite TV game show:


Welcome! Welcome! Thank you! Thank you!

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of "What's the Best Card in the Package." This is your host Night Owl, guiding you again through another exciting trade package. As you know, on this show we don't merely reveal the package's contents. We select 16 cards from the package and pit them against each other in a winner-take-all, death match until only ONE CARD, the most fantastic of the most fantastic, remains.

Exciting isn't it?

Well, let's get started.

On tonight's show, we are featuring the cards from Bud of the blog First Day Issue. Bud has graced "What's the Best Card in the Package" with an eclectic selection of items, which always makes for a very special edition of WTBCITP, as the kids call it.

So let's start matching cards up and knocking them down. But first this message:



And we're back!

You all know how this works. We select 16 cards that I do not yet have in my collection and whittle them down one by one to find -- say it with me -- THE BEST CARD IN THE PACKAGE!!!!!

All right! Everyone is in fine form tonight!

Let's get a look at our first two contestants:


OK, we have a shiny Bowman Chrome card of a guy still slaving away for the Dodgers in Class A ball ...



... pitted against a guy that they tried to pass off on ol' Night Owl as the Dodgers' second baseman of the future.

And the lucky card who advances to the next round is:


SHINY BOWMAN CLASS A DUDE! Because he hasn't disappointed me yet! Congratulations, guy whose name is too difficult to read on the scan! You're on to the next round!

OK, friends, time for the next matchup:


It's a parallel of the maddening Topps Stars set, featuring the maddening Todd Hundley ...


... against a 2004 MLB Showdown card of Brian Jordan.

And the winner is ...


BRIAN JORDAN 2004 MLB SHOWDOWN!!!! Who knew they were still doing MLB Showdown in 2004! Give them credit for never giving up in their attempt to get kids to play games with their cards -- like they need help in that department!!!

Well, this is exciting!!! I can't wait to see who is next. Let's get right to it:


Oooooooh!! We have the 2010 A&G black border mini of Clayton Kershaw. It will be tough to beat this contender! Let's see who will give it a go ...


... it's a grassy card of Mr. Cranky. Well, this is a mismatch, isn't it?


The Texas lefty advances easily!

Six cards down, 10 to go!

Who do we have next?


It's Craig Counsell, a thorn in the side of the Dodgers, who actually played one forgettable year for Los Angeles. He is facing ...


... the new closer for the Dodgers, Hong-Chih Kuo!

And the win goes to ...


KUO! He's gone through four arm surgeries and he's STILL productive for the Dodgers! Counsell, meanwhile, hit .259 and I think he's somehow still getting game-winning pinch hits off of the Dodgers.

But that's enough negativity! We're here to have FUN!

Who do we have next, Jim?


1983 Donruss Dave Stewart! The once promising Dodger prospect who did very little for them, or anybody, until he got to Oakland! He will take on ...


1999 Upper Deck Retro Adrian Beltre!

The card that gets to advance is ...


Upper Deck Retro Adrian Beltre because Dave Stewart is DISQUALIFIED! I have that card already! And Stewart is saying semi-nasty things about the Dodgers while serving as Matt Kemp's agent! So he's DOUBLY DISQUALIFIED! We don't like that! But that's more negativity, which must never happen on a game show!

Let's move on!


It's a shiny Russell Martin, not wearing a Team USA cap! And we'll pit him against ...


1994 Score Select Jose Offerman! Can Offerman kick his way into the next round?????


NO! Offerman is a lunatic! I don't care if Martin is out for the season and may never play for the Dodgers again! At least he doesn't try to kill pitchers!

But that's a mini-rant! Onward!


Say hello to 2004 Upper Deck's Kaz Ishii, one of the few left-handers who did anything for the Dodgers in the last 10 years (Kershaw excluded)! Ishii will take on ...


... 2005 Pros & Prospects' Steve Finley! The Scot Podsednik of 2004, except Finley could field a whole lot better!

Advancing to the next round is ...


Finley!! He stuck it to the Giants!!!! We like that!! Nice job, Steve! Even if you played for a whole bunch of other teams I do not enjoy!

OK, final round of the first round. The first contestant is:


One of the original Divas, Stacy Keibler! Well, this is a surprise! But we will always welcome the 2005 Babe of the Year on "What's the Best Card in the Package"!

Keibler gets to annihilate ...


... 2004 UD Timeless Teams Alejandro Pena!! Yes, I know I revealed the winner already! But was there any doubt? Look at her! Look at Pena! And Pena played for the Mets!


On to the next round, Stacy!

We'll be back with Round 2, right after this ...



(you knew that was coming, didn't you?)

AND WE'RE BACK!!!!!!! Thank you! Thank you! What a thrilling first round we had!!! Some people thought it was longer than hell!! But what do they know!!! They're not fans of "What's the Best Card in the Package"! But I know you ARE!!!!!

Let's get right to round two:


If you look really close, that's Alfredo Silverio, and he's still in Class A. But he's going to do his best to beat ...


... the Showdown king, Brian Jordan!

And the winner of this thrilling match-up is ...


Silverio! Gimmicky shiny always wins out over gimmicky attempts to lure kids to collecting!

All right, next matchup:


It's that awesome black border mini Kershaw again! Who is courageous enough to take on him?


Why it's the Leaf Prospect card of Hong-Chih Kuo! He may be able to throw harder than Kershaw -- maybe -- but can he beat him in "What's the Best Card in the Package"?


NO!!!!!!! Kershaw is way too awesome for Kuo in black border form! Kershaw advances!


We are getting down to the end here. Can you feel the tension? Here is the UD Retro card of Beltre. He goes head-to-head against ...


... shiny Russell Martin! The winner is ...


... Retro Beltre!!! Cards of Martin are just too painful for me to view!!!!

OK, onto the next pairing before I tear up. Here we go ...


... it's Steve Finley, the "Pro" part of "Pros & Prospects" in this set! He takes on ...


Miss Keibler! I think she might have a chokehold on this one! Let's see ...


She does! Finley played only one lousy year for the Dodgers! And it wasn't even a half of a year! Keibler was a Baltimore Ravens cheerleader! That means something around here!

We're down to the final four! Back after this ...



(This toothpaste made my brothers and I practically puke. We demanded our mother never buy it again. So I don't know what they're talking about here. Pure propaganda).

HELLO! Welcome to the fantastic four in "What's the Best Card in the Package"!!!!

We have four great cards remaining. Who will be the winner? Let's get right to it!!!!


Alfredo Silverio! How in the world did this card make it this far??? Please, someone put it out of its misery!


Excellent! Thank you Clayton! You advance to the final!

Let's see who your competition will be ...


Adrian Beltre enters the ring against ...


Keibler! And it's a knockout for Keibler! Besides, Upper Deck Retro is practically an oxymoron! Nice try, Beltre!

So, finally, we are at the pivotal moment.

Who will be crowned "Best Card in the Package"? Will it be Kershaw's wonderful black-bordered mini-ness? Or will it be Keibler's diva sparkliness?

I won't leave you in suspense any longer.

The winner is ...


KERSHAW!!!!!

Because I collect baseball cards!!!! And I know nothing about pro wrestling!!!! And Kershaw is my favorite player!!!! And this is the card that helped me sign off on the trade in the first place!!!!!

So, there you have it.

The Best Card in the Package!

Thank you for coming and spending your evening with us! I'd say I hope you will join us again, except I don't ever plan on doing this again!!!!!

Thank you! This is Night Owl, saying GOOD NIGHT!

9 comments:

  1. I gotta say, that was a very entertaining post Mr. Night Owl :)

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  2. I'm going to send you more cards just show I can read a post that funny again soon.

    Glad you liked 'em!

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  3. Angriest game show ever! Letting off some steam after today's game, eh?

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  4. I like it! Except random chromy card of single A guy was my pick haha.

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  5. Love the retro ads. Todd is stylin' in the Jeopardy thing!

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  6. Nice post but I would have shown counsell and finley more love. Sure he sucked as a dodger but I am pretty sure that's counsell's only dodger card so that should count for something to completists like us. As for finley, he hit a pretty big grand slam for the dodgers in his short stay. In the end I'm glad kershaw won out though.

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  7. dayf ~

    The Braves game was nothing. Wait until a judge awards Jamie McCourt ownership of the Dodgers and Frank proceeds to sell off all of their best players for jet fuel money. THEN you will see A Letting Off Of Steam.

    gcrl ~

    I referred to Finley's feat, as in "he stuck it to the Giants. We like that."

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  8. More fun facts about Stacy Keibler: She's a nice Catholic girl. Attended St. Clement's in Baltimore for grade school, where my friend's father taught her phys. ed. She went to the Catholic High School of Baltimore (real creative name, huh?), an all girl's school that was the "sister school" of Archbishop Curley, the all-boys' school that was geographically closest to it. It just so happens that I was a Curley student, and that I was a freshman during Ms. Keibler's senior year at TCHS. She also has a bachelors' degree in communication from Towson University, which has granted degrees to many other fine folk, including my father and my girlfriend.

    This has been Six Degrees of Stacy Keibler (And I Swear I've Never Stalked Her, Not Even During Those Lonely College Days) with Kevin.

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  9. Awesome post Night Owl! That last matchup was a tough one. One card appeals to the Dodger fan in me and the other appeals to the man in me. How can i choose? lol

    Despite your protestations, we look forward to more episodes of WTBCITP.

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