Friday, August 20, 2010
Hammer to fall
This is one of the greatest cards ever.
I received it quite awhile ago, from Dave of Tribe Cards, in its current encased state.
On the back, Professional Sports Authenticator tells me it is graded "Good," and that it is a "2."
I never think about grading cards. The only time I think about grading is when I come across a blog post that rips someone for having a card graded, or recommends someone have a card graded. Either way, it makes me sleepy. I don't sell cards. I don't plan to sell cards. Grading doesn't have a place in my life. And thank goodness. My life is packed full.
Sealing up cards in plastic strikes me as weird, even though when I think about it really really hard, I can come up with a reason for doing so.
But that doesn't mean I like owning graded cards. Whenever I happen to obtain a card enclosed in a case meant to protect me from myself, I do one thing:
I find the closest hammer (we have a few scattered all over the plantation), and I blast that plastic to bits.
Don't worry. Safety goggles are involved.
The cards come out without a scratch, and I happily place them in a page pouch so I can remove it when I want and rub my dirty fingerprints all over it in hopes that it will act as some sort of card voodoo doll for some grading snob and he'll suddenly start squirming and twitching because someone OUT THERE is TOUCHING their CARD.
Still, my Dodgers Sluggers card sits as I received it. Sealed up tight.
For some reason, I can't get myself to break it open.
I'm not sure why that is. Perhaps I'm afraid the hammer will ruin the card. Perhaps I'm afraid if the card experiences air molecules then it will disintegrate on the spot. I think that might be the reason.
But the card isn't THAT fragile. Sure, it's got some creases on three of the four corners (Duke Snider is taking the biggest hit). But otherwise it's rather nice. I'd grade it higher than "good," personally.
So, what should I do? Should I finally set it free? Or should I keep it sealed for that day when all my life savings are gone, and I desperately need an artificial hip?
My retirement years are in your hands.