Stick 'um, stupid

Out of all of the kinds of cards that I have obtained since I returned to collecting, there is only one that mocks me.

But it's not the oversized cards that will barely fit in a shoebox or the mini cards that will disappear down the cold-air intake floor register.

It's the sticker.

I used to love stickers. I still love stickers. Although now it's more the IDEA of stickers that I love. Stickers take me back to the time when I plastered them everywhere and announced my devotion to my favorite team.

I would stick them on my notebooks. I would stick them on my folders. I would stick them on my book covers and my baseball card binders. I would stick them on my Big Wheel and then, later, my bike. I would stick them on the posters on my wall. When I was feeling particularly daring, I would stick them on my desk at school. But not right on top where the teacher would see.

Stickers were meant to be stuck.

Periodically, you'd see stickers on trees or sign posts (I don't remember if I ever did that). And then there'd be those kids who would put stickers on themselves.

But I don't have any notebooks, book covers, folders or posters anymore. I don't sit at a desk at school. I don't have a Big Wheel, and putting stickers on my bike wouldn't go with the "decor."

I could put my Dodger stickers on my Dodger binders. But my binders are handled very frequently and I can't bear the thought of seeing the stickers curl up and get ratty-looking. I'm a little obsessive in that area.

So there my stickers sit. I put one of each kind in my Dodger binders, as if they are cards. But I don't know what to do with all the duplicates. They sit with my Dodger doubles right now. But unlike the rest of the doubles, each time I see the stickers, they cry out to be stuck.

Really, I can hear them. They're crying.

It's crushing.

Stickers are meant to be stuck.

What does everyone do with their stickers? If you stick them on your binders, are they treated in some fashion so they don't rip off?

And don't tell me you stick them on your walls or walk around with them on your forehead. My daughter is reaching an age where her father "must be normal." So that's not a realistic option.

As proud as I am of my baseball card collection -- I will tell noncollectors without hesitation what I do for a hobby and if they make some sort of smart remark, I will rip their so-called "adult" hobby up and down -- I just can't get a handle on stickers.

I really feel like I'm failing my stickers.

I still love them. But I'm sick of them reminding me I'm not a kid anymore.