Friday, October 9, 2015

If I was king of the postseason, 2015 edition


Welcome to the fifth edition of "If I Was King of the Postseason," a little fantasy post of mine in which I choose the winner of the 16 potential World Series matchups for this particular postseason.

It is mere hours before the Dodgers begin their postseason, this time against the Mets, and here I am fighting with my cable box. Yup, my cable box decided to take a crap just as the postseason -- the only thing I really care about viewing on my television -- began. You can't make this stuff up.

Between that and work, I haven't sat down in the comfort of my own home to see a single postseason game so far. And I expect that to continue until possibly next week (if MLB and TV can see it in their hearts to put a game on in the afternoon this weekend, then I have a better shot).

But enough about my problems. You want to see who I want to win World Series matchups, the vast majority of which won't happen!

Here we go:


1. Dodgers vs. Royals: The "Happy Happy Joy Joy In Blue Let's Really Do It This Time" Series

What's good about it: As I mentioned last year when this was a possibility: everything. Two teams that I've liked going back to when I was 9 years old. Some people may have turned on the Royals -- I haven't. I want this series badly.

What's bad about it: Not a thing.


Who I'd want to win: Dodgers. Of course. I'm not one of those goofballs with two favorite teams.


2. Mets vs. Rangers: The Nolan Ryan/Lee Mazzilli Series

What's good about it: Two teams that are pretty OK with me (present NLDS excluded, of course). We'd probably get some sort of tribute to Nolan Ryan during the festivities, since he played for both teams. That'd be kind of neat.

What's bad about it: I'd be forced to remember how Lee Mazzilli was traded from the Mets to the Rangers and he threw a pity party for himself, acting like he was just traded to Kosovo.


Who I'd want to win: Dammit, Mazzilli, you just made me root for the Rangers.


3. Cardinals vs. Astros: The "Return to the 2005 NLCS" Series

What's good about it: I could relive the memories of the Astros' stirring triumph in the 2005 NLCS, part of which I watched in a doctor's waiting room while a family member was in surgery. It was a welcome relief from the judge shows and soap operas I was forced to stare at before baseball came on.

What's bad about it: This is an NLCS, not a World Series.


Who I'd want to win: Astros


4. Cubs vs. Rangers: The Matt Garza Series

What's good about it: I don't know. The Cubs and Rangers could get together before each game and mope about how Matt Garza wasn't the pitcher they thought he would be? And then after each game they could mope about how Mike Olt wasn't the hitter they thought he would be?

What's bad about it: I have a feeling nobody broadcasting this game would realize the Rangers are even playing. It'd be all Cubs all the time.


Who I'd want to win: Rangers


5. Dodgers vs. Rangers: The "Night Owl Meets Play At The Plate" Series

What's good about it: Either Brian or I will finally end the long years of suffering.

What's bad about it: Someone's still going to be suffering.


Who I'd want to win: Dodgers


6. Mets vs. Astros: The "Return to 1986" Series

What's good about it: I could relive the 1986 NLCS for weeks. I love that series, I love the people who were around me when that series was going on. I could hear the name Charlie Kerfeld again. Good times.

What's bad about it: This is an NLCS, not a World Series. Oh, did I say that already?


Who I'd want to win: Mets. Just like in '86.


7. Cardinals vs. Rangers: The "Oh, No, Not This Again" Series

What's good about it: The Rangers could get redemption. Please, please, please, Rangers, get redemption.

What's bad about it: The Cardinals would win in yet another garbage postseason finish of the last five years.


Who I'd want to win: Rangers


8. Cubs vs. Blue Jays: The "Hey I've Been To Both Cities" Series

What's good about it: I could see places that I know and that I've been to and bore people by talking about them in great detail.

What's bad about it: Too many Dioner Navarro retrospectives?


Who I'd want to win: Blue Jays


9. Dodgers vs. Astros: The "Revenge -- Revenge I Tell You -- For 1980" Series

What's good about it: Maybe the Astros could wear those rainbow uniforms all series.

What's bad about it: This is an NL West matchup, not a World Series.


Who I'd want to win: Dodgers


10. Mets vs. Blue Jays: The John Gibbons Series

What's good about it: John Gibbons manages against the team he played for -- the intrigue, the drama!

What's bad about it: A late October/early November series between Toronto and New York? Everyone is going to freeze their asses off. I love it. Fix it, MLB.



Who I'd want to win: Mets


11. Cardinals vs. Royals: The "I-70 Series Three Decades Later For Real This Time" Series

What's good about it: Willie McGee and Buddy Biancalana throw out the first pitch together, right? Right?

What's bad about it: I know we'd have to hear about Jorge Orta and "what if it replay existed then." Excellent. Can we please get back to the actual game where real things are happening?


Who I'd want to win: Royals


12. Cubs vs. Astros: The "Why Do We Bother To Win a Division Title" Series

What's good about it: Fox saves on gas mileage? You got me.

What's bad about it: It only supports my growing suspicion that the one-game wild card, which was supposed to underline the benefit of winning your division, actually gives a postseason advantage to the winner of the wild card game.


Who I'd want to win: Astros


13. Dodgers vs. Blue Jays: The "Russell Martin Comes Home" Series

What's good about it: It's nice to be able to like Russell Martin again. I liked him quite a bit with the Dodgers and somewhat with the Pirates. But that Yankees stint was real ugly. I'm happy he's with the Jays.

What's bad about it: The Dodgers will be closer to me than they are in any other game, and I wouldn't be able to see them.


Who I'd want to win: Dodgers


14. Mets vs. Royals: The 2016 Opening Day Preview Series

What's good about it: I'm used to the Royals, who play the Mets in an interleague game to open the 2016 season, playing that other team from New York. It's nice that they'll play a New York team I like a little better.

What's bad about it: It's still New York. I don't like them picking on my Royals.


Who I'd want to win: Royals


15. Cardinals vs. Blue Jays: The Flappity Flap Series

What's good about it: It's the Bird Series! Baseball's flown the coop! Bird calls in the stands! People dressed up with giant wings! Angry bird video memes! It's bird-sanity!

What's bad about it: I see cardinals and blue jays in my backyard all the time. It's a pleasant moment. But this Series won't be pleasant.


Who I'd want to win: Blue Jays


16. Cubs vs. Royals: The "Grogg" Series

What's good about it: My Twitter friend, Greg, will have his two favorites in the World Series, although that might be a little painful for him.

What's bad about it: I'm sure he'll be rooting for the Cubs. I'll be rooting for the Royals.


Who I'd want to win: Royals


And those are your World Series possibilities, although it's already looking like some of those matchups are already very unlikely.

By the way, I don't know why I scanned these two cards:


Make sure your NLDS lasts five games, gentlemen, and every game is 17 innings. I need you nice and exhausted for the Dodgers.

10 comments:

  1. "I have a feeling nobody broadcasting this game would realize the Rangers are even playing. It'd be all Cubs all the time."

    To be fair, it's not like the Rangers can supply anything worth talking about.
    Other than how they've already choked twice in the World Series this decade.

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  2. "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

    Lets Go Mets!

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    1. Oh, and my cable is working fine, if you wanna drive 8 hours from Watertown to Jersey, there's always a place on the couch for you to watch the Mets & Dodgers.

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  3. I'm just happy that I'm able to watch the Dodgers each game of the playoffs after another year of this Time Warner Cable / Direct TV Sportsnet.LA nonsense out here in Los Angeles.

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  4. The only thing about the Jays series is we have whatever announcers Fox and MLB network decide to send up here.. (maybe they sent the only ones who have passports?) I just know that people were wishing for Pat Tabler and Buck Martinez after Harold Reynolds..

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  5. If the Cubs make the World Series I think they'll get the favored treatment no matter who they play.

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  6. Huge fan of your blog. Love PATP's blog too. But outside of you guys being happy... there isn't anything positive about a Rangers/Dodgers World Series.

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  7. The AL options are all kind of yawners. One of them isn't really even an AL team.

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  8. It's funny: I'm a Mets fan, but I'm kind of with you on the first one. The Royals have also been my second favorite team since I was young--the Mets weren't good, so I developed an interest in the team that was playing the Yankees in the playoffs a lot and whose big star happened to have my name. So I'll also be rooting for the Royals to win the AL, but if they meet my Mets, it's still an easy call to root against the Royals.

    Hope you got the TV straightened out! I had to miss a lot of the game because I had to work! (I'm a tutor, I had an appointment with students overseas at 11PM my time.)

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  9. Well, you only got #14 out of 16. That's pretty low. I'm sad for you - but happy for me! :-)

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