If you were lucky enough to experience the major league baseball season in 1980, you know the first half of the year was consumed by a man named Super Joe Charboneau.
Charboneau was a one-year rookie sensation. He was one of the first rookie sensations I ever knew. David Clyde came first, followed by Mark Fidrych and then Bob Horner. And then came Go Joe Charboneau.
The stories about him were repeated so often that I had them memorized. Got stabbed by a crazed fan with a pen knife. Performed his own dental work. Fixed his broken nose with a pair of pliers.
A lot of the stories revolved around beer, as good stories often do.
Charboneau could drink beer through a straw from his nose.
And the one that stuck with me the most: he could open beer bottles with his eye socket.
I couldn't drink beer in 1980, but damn that sounded impressive.
It must have sounded impressive to Donruss, too.
Because the next year, it issued its first baseball card product. For its card of rookie sensation Joe Charboneau, it asked Joe to pose in Comiskey Park in Chicago with a bat on his shoulder.
And then in a bit of genius, it made sure that the scoreboard made the shot.
The scoreboard with the following message:
If you can't make it out, it says, "This Bud's for you."
Well done, Donruss.
This Bud's for you, too.
But I'm not going to open it with my eye socket.