If every blogger jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too?

Yes, mom. Yes, I would. If there was new card product at the bottom of the bridge, then yes, I'd jump.

I can't help it. You've heard me about 2012 cards. They bore me. I'm not interested. In any of them. But despite all that, there is something inside me -- completely independent of conscious thought -- that says, "OOOOH! THAT'S NEW! BUY IT!"

I had gone to Target today to find cards, true. But I was actually going to buy one of those repack rack pack things to satisfy my pack-opening addiction while I'm still on a card-binge sabbatical (this has been going on for weeks, but it's about to break soon).

I didn't see any of the repacks, but that didn't matter, because something inside me whipped my head to the right in response to a box of brightly orange-colored packs that I had never seen before. They were actually stashed on a lower shelf BEHIND some NFL and NBA cards, but I have my body trained to spot anything slightly out of the ordinary on the card shelves. Then, add all the Series 2 blog posts I've read and I had to see the stuff for myself.

And that is how I ended up with two packs of Topps Series 2.

Let me reiterate:

I'm not interested in this product.

I'm not collecting this product.

I've already seen Series 1 more than I care to, and considering Series 2 looks exactly the same, I fully expect to nod off at some point in the middle of this post.

But join me, won't you?

If nothing else, you can enjoy how pissed off I get when I pull no Dodgers.

PACK 1

#650 - Prince (Fielder). Got to love that foil.

One of the drawbacks of buying Opening Day is you've seen some of these images already, including this one (although he's a Brewer in Opening Day).

#355 - Mark (Buehrle)

We can safely say this is an actual Marlins uniform, correct?

#442 - Johnny (Giavotella)

I get disturbed when I pull a card of a player I've never heard of, look for the rookie logo, and don't see it.

#553 - James (Darnell)

Topps is currently hitting me over the head with the fact that I'm just too out of touch to be buying these cards.

#658 - Juan (Pierre)

Hey! Somebody I know! Nice catch out there in left the other day, buddy. Thanks for helping the Dodgers out.

#374 - Coco (Crisp), goldy parallel

This is two straight years that I've pulled the sparkly parallel of Coco Crisp. And here they both sit. Waiting for the A's fan that never shows up.

Oh, geez ... these things.

I had forgotten all about these.

All right, let's get it over with.

What idiotic fake coin thing am I getting?

Give me a moment to figure out how to get to the site again.

...

OK, here we go ...

Weeee! A coin! Shocker.

This is my first Hall of Fame coin, which means ... I don't know. Probably nothing.

I'm never getting a card out of this.

#480 - J.J. (Putz)

Nothing like being immortalized for all eternity grabbing another guy's butt.

I can tell myself this is why I never became a major league baseball player.

#451 - Jeff (Francoeur)

#441 - Mike (Aviles)

#448 - Dustin (Moseley)

You can tell I'm getting bored.

#474 - Mitch (Maier)

Yup. A three-Royal pack. There's excitement.

No Dodgers.

PACK 2

#592 - Carlos (Lee)

Carlos!! You're back!

He apparently got jealous of Johnny Cueto and made sure he showed up as soon as possible.

#496 - Jorge (De La Rosa)

The back says "he submitted to elbow surgery." Gee, that doesn't sound voluntary does it?

#508 - Brandon (Phillips)

I'd like to see no more Tiger Woods yelling on cards, please. Did Frank Robinson ever do this? Harmon Killebrew? Tom Seaver? Yet somehow we figured out that they were the man.

#342 - Kosuke (Fukudome)

#465 - Michael (Schwimer)

I don't know who this is, but once again, I'd just like to say, the last series between the Phillies and Dodgers may very well have been the highlight of my baseball season.

#CD-1 - Albert Pujols, Career Day

I've read some criticism of these cards. I don't mind them. I like moment-in-time cards. The design isn't too bad -- a hell of a lot better than all those horrific gold things in Series 1 -- and the foil is unobtrusive. You can't go wrong with color.

#TM-90 - Babe Ruth, '87 mini

How big is this set?

#429 - Michael (Bourn)

Another Opening Day photo.

#565 - Dan (Uggla)

Excellent. Back-to-back Braves. Have I mentioned no Dodgers yet? No Dodgers.

#563 - Alex (White)

#525 - Paul (Maholm)

Maholm was a free agent signing in January. I'm not familiar enough with the Cubs' road uniforms to know if this is photoshopped. The No. 28 -- which IS his Cubs uniform number -- glows unnaturally when you see the card in person.

#510 - Randall (Delgado)

Three Braves. No Dodgers.

And those are the two packs.

Kind of dull.

And no Dodgers.

...

Well, mom, you were right. Again.

I hope I didn't break my ankle jumping.

Back I limp to the vintage.