Sunday, August 30, 2009

The worst card of 2009, contestant #10

I've reached a road block in my selection of the worst cards of 2009.

The problem is that I must obtain the card before I can feature it as a candidate. Because part of the ridiculousness of these cards is being forced to pull them from the pack.

But I haven't pulled this card from a pack yet:

Seriously, how can I even go on with the Worst Card Candidates if this card isn't going to be included in them? I can't. Unless a kind reader would send the card to me. Then, I'd be happy to continue with the wild and wacky of 2009.

What's that? You want me to continue anyway even without the Young card?

No, I couldn't do that. Didn't you just hear ...

Oh, all right. Here we go. Contestant #10, Francisco Cordero. But I'm not feeling good about this.

OPC photographer: All right Mr. Cordero, if you'll step over here, we'll have this done in a matter of seconds.
Cordero: Aren't we going to do this outside?
OPC photographer: No. We've got a bunch of you lined up for studio shots. Stand over here.
Cordero: What, in front of this screen?
OPC photographer: Right.
Cordero: Don't you want me to get a ball and glove?
OPC photographer: Nope.
Cordero: Oh, I get it. I'm going to pose with a bat. That's cool.
OPC photographer: No, Mr. Cordero, no bat. Look into the camera.
Cordero: You've got props! You're going to have me pose with wacky props! I want a cowboy hat. Let me pose in a cowboy hat.
OPC photographer: No, really. I just want you to stand over there and look at the camera. We're going old school this year. It's an old-school set.
Cordero: Old school? But photos on old cards were taken outside.
OPC photographer: No, we're not going outside. We're doing this inside. Old school.
Cordero: (exasperated) Yeah, I know, man. Old school. I'm saying old school cards had pictures of players posing outside.
OPC photographer: Really, I'm just the photographer. Can we just get this over with?
Cordero: (*sigh*) So, you want me to look tough or maybe smile or something? I can sneer. Want me to sneer?
OPC photographer: No.
Cordero: Are you at least going to shoot it super close-up? Different visual image? Change the background from this stale, gray color?
OPC photographer: No. Old school.
Cordero: Stop saying old school!!! Damn.
OPC photographer: Please, Mr. Cordero, no emotion! We want you to look bored.
Cordero: Bored?
OPC photographer: Yes, bored. Think of something really boring.
Cordero: Hmmm, boring, boring.

(Cordero's face goes blank).

OPC photographer: Perfect! (*click*)
OPC photographer: So what'd you think about?
Cordero: Preseason football.
OPC photographer: Ah, excellent choice.

(I need that Michael Young card!)

3 comments:

  1. That Young card sure is interesting. I haven't seen that one yet. But, it must be included into the "contest". I'm sure that someone will be able to help you out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm scouring the ends of the earth...or at least the Dallas area. I think blogger is telling me to go on a diet...my word is flablut.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Looks like he has to poop or was hanging with Cheech and Chong.

    ReplyDelete