Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Men of action
For several months now, I've had an idea of creating an "all-doing team" for the blog.
You know what an "all-doing team" is, right?
It's a team of baseball players whose names form an active sentence. Such as "Rick Waits". This is my favorite example, but there are others. The question was, would I be able to form a team out of those players?
But I struggled to do that. I have no doubt if I had the time for enough research, I could come up with a full lineup, but working within my constricted schedule (you don't want every post to be a trade post, do you?), I just couldn't find enough infielders. Kind of interesting, since infielders are moving all the time.
No, the vast majority of players who form active sentences with their names are pitchers. It just confirms that without pitchers, this game would cease to exist. You can't start a baseball game until a pitcher throws a pitch. They make the game go 'round.
So let's see those men of action, starting with my favorite one from my childhood.
Rick Waits. Awesome card. But it doesn't exactly illustrate his name accurately.
There we go. Rick Waits. Rick Waits for the sign. Rick Waits for the batter. His name is an actual caption for the photo! I love this card!
Here are a few more through the years. All pitchers.
Dave Sells. Dave Sells this pose. Dave Sells that there's an actual ball in his glove. Dave Sells seashells by the seashore.
Bill Hands. Here's a headline: "Bill Hands Twins Devastating Defeat".
Britt Burns. Britt Burns brightly. Britt Burns at the umpire. Britt Burns at the photographer taking his picture.
Todd Burns. Todd Burns over the three runs he gave up in 2/3 of an inning in Game 1 of the 1990 World Series.
Josh Towers. Josh Towers over the opposition. Towers is 6-1 so he isn't physically towering. But that mound helps.
James Shields. James Shields his face from a comebacker.
There's another pitching Shields. Scot Shields. Scott Shields his eyes from the sun.
Another Shields. Another pitcher. Steve Shields. Steve Shields himself from an awful word play on his name.
Willie Banks. Thought I forgot this one, huh? Willie Banks on a victory tonight. Willie Banks at First National.
David Weathers. This name evokes images of struggling through three-ball counts and the bases full. David Weathers another inning.
Here we are in the present day and it's a Dodger. Maybe a better name for an infielder, but it's still quite appropriate for baseball. Josh Fields his position well. (I have no idea if that's true -- the guy's always disabled).
There are several other Sentence Pitchers for which I don't have cards, including current Texas Ranger Jeffrey Springs, as well as Justin Marks, Terry Burrows and early 20th century Detroit Tiger Ralph Works. "Works" is the ultimate "doing" name.
As for hitters, there are a few even if they aren't as plentiful as pitchers.
Here's another Fields. Bruce Fields. He was an outfielder. Bruce Fields the ball off the wall.
I know you can't read that. But that's Derek Parks, a catcher. Derek Parks himself behind the plate.
"Burns" isn't restricted to pitchers, of course. (There is 1890s star Oyster Burns). Here is Billy Burns. Billy Burns around the bases.
The only corner infielder I could find. Razor Shines brightly on this all-doing team.
Charlie Spikes. He is in the wrong sport. Imagine if he was a running back. Charlie Spikes the ball references everywhere.
During the '70s, Charlie Spikes and Rick Waits were on the same Indians team. Maybe Cleveland should have done something, huh.
Finally, the most noted of the baseball Sentence Names. Maury Wills. If only I could say Maury Wills his way into the Hall of Fame.
If I extended this all-doing team into the minor leagues I could fill the couple of infield holes that exist. Here is one now:
It's another Shields. Tom Shields actually has a couple of major league cards from the early 1990s when he was with the Cubs. But I like this one better. The field shown there is right down the road from me. And you can't beat those uniforms.
If you included players whose names aren't exactly spelled correctly for this exercise you could add Glenn Braggs, Mookie Betts and Tim Raines. Then there is the treasure trove that would be unearthed if only there was an 'S' added to a last name: Oscar Gambles! Phil Garners! The "Cooks" alone would fill a team! (By the way you could do this with any other sport. I'm just dying to use Natrone Means on this team).
So those are your major (and minor) league doers. Your movers and shakers. All in one tidy first name and last name.
Now it's time for me to actually do something.